My Fake Sinterklaas Journaal Stories

My Fake Sinterklaas Journaal Stories

Every year (in the middle of November) Sinterklaas and his crew of Zwarte Pieten sail from Spain to Holland in order to give presents to all the good little girls and boys on December 5th. The boat crossing is always followed on the news. Every present over board and every rough wave is reported with the up most journalistic credibility and diligence for the children of Holland by Het Sinterklaas Journaal.

The story is different each year but the question is always same. Will Sinterklaas arrive in time?

Luckily Sinterklaas has already arrived in Holland this year but for next year’s Sinterklaas Journaal story I’d like to make a few suggestions of my own:

– Murder on the stoomboot van Spanje
When a body is found in the water it is a race against time for great Detective Sinterklaas to find the clues and uncover the truth before the boat reaches the main land and the murderer escapes forever. The deadly truth is finally revealed when all the suspects are gathered in the ships study.

– DEA raid
When DEA agents board the stoomboot van Spanje with a warrant to search for illegal narcotics Sinterklaas quickly discovers a terrible secret; one of his Pieten is being forced to smuggle cocaine into Holland, hidden within the yearly delivery of toys.

Gambling problems have got the Piet into deep trouble with the Spanish mafia and he has to do everything they say or face unpleasantries. Sinterklaas is forced to make an impossible decision; help out a friend in need and cover up this terrible secret or give him up to the feds and get back on schedule.

– Zombie Outbreak
What seemingly starts as a simple tummy bug amongst a few of the Pieten turns more sinister when they start attacking the rest of the crew. It is not long before the entire ship is crawling with the slow moving undead and a small handful of survivors led by Sinterklaas are forced to seal themselves in side the toy room.

With the ship stuck on auto pilot the survivors have only one choice; fight their way to the bridge, stop the steam boat before it reaches the main land (thus stopping the infection spreading throughout the whole of Holland) or die trying.

– Hostage Situation
The boat is boarded, the engines are sabotaged, the Pieten are rounded up and a message is sent to the main land, “Five million Euros by sun rise or Pieten start dying.”

It’s up to Sinterklaas (who avoided capture during the initial attack) save the day. However, he soon discovers that not everything is as it seems. Hans Gruber and his group of German terrorists are not terrorists at all. They are thieves and the hostage situation is just a distraction from their real goal; the toys.

– Ice Burg
The steamboat van Spanje starts taking on water fast when it hits one of the notorious Dutch ice burgs. Sinterklaas has to get everyone off the boat and into the life rafts before the steam boat sinks to the bottom of the ocean forever.

– Pirate Raid
The stoomboot van Spanje is chased, fired upon and boarded by Somalian pirates.

– Release the Kraken
When a Piet’s deal with Davy Jones goes south the stoomboot van Spanje is chased all the way into the Dutch harbour by the angry Jones’ rather large pissed off nautical pet for a final show down with the Dutch navy.


Looking for more? Read my ultimate guide on this Dutch tradition: Sinterklaas vs. Santa – Eight Humorous Differences

17 responses to “My Fake Sinterklaas Journaal Stories”

  1. Alison says:

    You had me at “notorious Dutch icebergs”, and then sealed the deal with the Kraken! Love the ideas!

  2. Invader Stu says:

    that was actually one I thought of just before posting. I just wanted to be able to say ‘Release The Kraken!’ :p

  3. Brilliant stuff!

    What about one where the GPS system is hacked by an evil toy-overlord and sends the toys to Belgium instead? Sinterklaas then has to be re-trained by a little-known elven Dutch ninja to invade Belgium and substitute the hacked GPS receiver for a proper one and direct the ship back home.

  4. Tim says:

    Have you seen the new movie Sint?

    Also an interesting alternative to the standard Sinterklaas story…

  5. julia says:

    This is fantastic!

    I like the DEA raid. It reminds me a bit of Great Expectations. I love all of that moral conflict.

    In the Hostage Situation, how did Sinterklass avoid capture? Is he more worried about the hostages or the toys. Does he have to chooose?

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Unexpected Traveller – That sound like the plot of the next Adam Sandler movie

    Tim – Most the guys in my office have been talking about it so I’ve not been able to miss it :)

    Julia – Sinterklaas does have to choose but Sinterklaas always chooses what is write. He’s like a super hero really. And how he avoided capture… hhmmm… I’m not sure yet. How did John McClain do it in Die Hard… not that I’m ripping off ideas.

  7. French Bean says:

    Hee, hee…Sinterklaas sure is in for a bumpy boat ride if you in charge of giving the news reports!

    (So, how did la Belle France treat you and the Missus? It wasn’t too chilly, I hope!)

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    (Wellllll…. it was more wet that it was chilly. The best day of weather we had was the day we left but we still had a great time and I bought us Disney ponchos to keep the rain off (but we did not wear those once we got to Paris itself))

  9. Heather says:

    Haha, brilliant! I must admit I never realised that there was real-time coverage of his arrival. I shall be tuning in next year for sure!

  10. Marjolein says:

    I vote for the hostage suggestion. And of course Sinterklaas is not captured…he is Sinterklaas after all!!

  11. Andrew says:

    This is certainly one of my more bewildering experiences here.. I’ve just bought some postcards featuring Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet, and I’m sending them back to England tomorrow. I’m just worried they’ll get censored somewhere in the British postal service.

  12. Keith says:

    You certainly have a vivid imagination. Are you on the “wacky-baccy” or something? Whatever it is, I WANT SOME!

  13. Invader_Stu says:

    Heather – They make a big news event of it every year. They also have coverage of his stay in Holland and all the stuff that goes on.

    Marjolein – Of course not. He’s basically a super hero.

    Andrew – It’s quite a shock when you see it for the first time I know. You get used to it after a while though.

    Keith – Sorry, no. It’s just my very strange imagination.

  14. Just a Plane Ride Away says:

    I think the zombie scenario has great potential…

  15. VallyP says:

    Love it Stu. In fact I think they should take one of your suggestions every year for the next seven years. Then Sinterklaas would draw even more crowds. How about being the director of operations. Instead of Invader Stu you could become Defender Stu :)

  16. Invader Stu says:

    JaPRA – I agree. Zombies are very in at the moment. It makes seance to use them with Sinterklaas.

    VallyP – I like the sound of that. Defender Stu, Defender of Sinterklaas :p

  17. AH says:
    I think the murderer really liked your first story suggestion… :)

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