Meme: Ten Things I Will Never Do

I’ve tagged by Alan from Random Burblings to inform every one of 10 things I will ‘never’ do in my life time.

1) Enjoy an Adam Sandler Movie:
I have never found Adam Sandler funny and I never will. I am still scarred from the time I was forced to watch ‘Little Nicky.’ That movie stole time from my life that I want back. I look forward to the day when audiences can sue the makers of bad movies. I’ve got a long list ready.

2) Be a morning person:
I can never wake up in the mornings and I don’t like coffee. I just stumble around for a while like a zombie in search of the shower and pass out again on the train to work.

3) Think Paris Hilton is a talented person and a good role model for the youth of today:
I’m not even going to start on this subject. I’ll only get angry and burn down every store stocking copies of her album.

4) Remember my college summer ball:
Drinking student punch at a pre-ball party is not a good idea. They make it very strong. My only memory of the actual event is waking up in a hallway in the recovery position after my friends had put me there. I was up and about again in time for the last song.

5) Understand how to use a Mac:
I’ve tried. I really have but I can not work them out. PCs might not be perfect but neither are Macs. I also don’t like the way a Mac is more like a fashion statement then a computer or Apples patronizing and inaccurate representation of PC users. Can’t we all just get along? If a Mac user ever tries laughing at me because my PC is not cool I just make them cry by asking when they will be getting the latest games release.

6) Be able to dance with out having a few drinks first:
It’s not easy getting the ‘sober and embarrassed vs. drunk and stupid’ balance right but when it is achieved I can dance the night away with out feeling shy or falling down.

7) Approach a lists like this seriously:
It’s just not in my nature.

8) Work in food retail again:
For a lot of my college life I worked part time in Iceland (the frozen foods store and not the country). I hated every second of it.

If you do not believe the old truth that the worst thing about working in retail is the customers (followed quickly by the employer) then I have a story to tell you. An old man once approached me and asked where he could find our ice-cream. It was a rule that we had to show customers to the location of something rather then simply point out the direction. As I led the way I suddenly felt his hand brush across my ass. It was worrying but it seemed like it could have been an accident coursed by walking too close, an embarrassing but innocent mistake. Then it happened a second time and there was definite feeling. I started walking a lot fast in a panic, pointed out the ice-cream and kept on going. My pace got even quicker when I heard him ask if I would reach into the freezer and get him an ice-cream from the bottom. To hell with customer satisfaction.

9) Be able to think of a number 9 in the list of 10 things I will never do:
I’m drawing a blank… um… I’ll never have an army of robot zombie mice. There you go.

10) Spell dyslexic with out the aid of a spell checker:
Dyslexix, dyslxix, deslxic….. bugger.

29 responses to “Meme: Ten Things I Will Never Do”

  1. Keith says:

    “..an ice-cream from the bottom.” That’s precisely where you should have told him to stick it!

  2. Charlemagne Stavanger says:

    pretty nice list, but you gotta do something about no.6. Trust me, when you’re not drunk, you’ll enjoy it a alot mroe and certainly remember more.

  3. roxanne says:

    I would be scared of anyone that took these list seriously.

    Robot zombie mice….why not?

    I like the word “bugger”. I think I’ll start a trend and bring it to the US. (I love hearing Hugh Grant say it in one of his movies)

    Apple computers and IPods go hand in hand. Both are fashion statements.

  4. Invader_Stu says:

    Keith – He might have seen that as an invitation

    Charlemagne Stavanger – I don’t have to be that drunk to dance. That’s what I mean by a fine balance. Just a little merry.

  5. Melissa says:

    I feel your pain about #8, I’ve worked in retail/service since I was 15, and the one year Im in a foreign country and not allowed to have a job it seems that guys here seem to take speaking English to mean that my American friends and I are easy…

  6. ChickyBabe says:

    I’m so with you on 1 2 3 5!

    Thanks for the tag Stu, so here’s my list:
    1-10 – I will never do a meme again! :P

  7. roxanne says:

    I guess not, since I didn’t even know it was a mild swear word.

  8. vallyP says:

    Brill, Stu!!! I had a good chuckle over your list, specially theone about Mac’s. Being a bit of a Maccie myself, I shall definitely come up with a good rebuttal ;-) Challenge/tag accepted…watch my space. Well, in a day or two as I’m a tad busy right now, but thanks for the honour bestowed!

  9. Invader_Stu says:

    Roxanne – Do you know what it actually means apart from being a mild swear word?

    Melissa – Do they still think you are easy if you tell them to, “get lost,” in English? :p

    ChickyBabe – This is my first ever meme

  10. Jodie says:

    Haha, I don’t think VallyP will be too worried about missing out on Unreal Tournament, Stu. :D
    She’s a real whizz at Solitaire though! ;)

    I sit on the fence in the Mac vs PC question.
    For writing my book and messing about with drawing on my tablet, my iBook is ideal.
    I’ve also got lots of nifty unix tools on there that do allow me to play about the my mac’s configuration.

    But for gaming and the web-maintenance stuff I do I still crawl behind my trusty pc.

    Of course, my geekdom will only be truly complete when I have set up a linux web-server :)

  11. flicka says:

    if you ever figure out the balance between sober and embarrassed vs drunk an dstupid, PLEASE let me know the secret!

  12. Invader_Stu says:

    Roxanne – I think its pretty much lost the meaning but it had something to do with sodomy.

    VallyP – I thought there might be a Mac counter argument from someone. I’m guessing the, “oh yeah… well… you won’t be getting Unreal Tournament 2007 on release day,” argument will work on you? :p

  13. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – Darn I can’t torment you about Unreal Tournament either because you have a PC too :p

    Flicka – I’ll keep working at it

  14. Jodie says:

    Nope, sorry Stu, you are hereby thwarted :)

    Not that I would be too bothered about missing Unreal Tournament 2007… I’m more of an RPG gal myself.

    Oh and thanks to you tagging my mum (VallyP) now I’ve been tagged!

  15. Jodie says:

    I’m still trying to resist the WOW pull but as almost every friend of mine is playing it it is getting very difficult… I played Guild Wars for a few months but that got a bit boring after a while and the weapons were … not very good :)

    But I’ve managed to find a temporary distraction in Neverwinter Nights :)
    (The Dungeons and Dragons trend is strong in our circle)

  16. Jodie says:

    well, my colleague is now bringing me a trial version tomorrow so I guess I shall know soon enough if I too will be suckered into this crazy world of warcraft :)

  17. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – World of Warcraft?

  18. Invader_Stu says:

    I tried Guild Wars for a little while as well but I was already (and still am) a World of Warcraft addict.

  19. Invader_Stu says:

    Oh you will. mahah-Mahaha-MAHAHAHAHA!

    *cough*

  20. Tenakalaz says:

    Jodie, Join us, be one of us. Come to the side of darkness, ganking and carpal tunnel.

  21. Jodie says:

    Tenakalaz, I’m almost afraid to ask.. but what is Ganking?

  22. Jodie says:

    I liked Stu’s version better! I dont want to be killed by level 60!! I’m too young to die :(

  23. Invader_Stu says:

    Now to show my true nerd:

    Ganking is when one player steals something that was meant for another player. It is also known as ninja looting. Usually it happens when a team of players decide one member should take a item from a chest because they need it but someone else from the team takes it with out permission and leaves.

  24. Tenakalaz says:

    Stuart, how wrong you are,

    Ganking = Gang Killing.

    It used to refer to a group of people picking on opnne person, it has now evolved into anyone who kills players of lower levels for fun.

  25. ChickyBabe says:

    So you’re no longer a meme virgin! :P

  26. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – Tenakalaz might be drugged up but he is right. Wiki lied to me.

    ChickyBabe – Not any more. Will it still respect me in the morning?

  27. Rose says:

    No one ever tags me. I did not know that you do these Memes Stu? I’ll keep that in mind for next time I need to tag someone.

  28. Invader_Stu says:

    I only do them sometimes. Especially if I have writers block :p

  29. Karla says:

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