Stalked by a Spider

Stalked by a Spider

The following takes place between 9:30am and 6:30pm on January 31st 2008 in the games studio in Amsterdam where I work. All the facts are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent:

9:30 am – I arrive at work for another busy day of browsing the internet for amusing photos of cats with funny captions.

9:53 am – I notice a small spider sitting on the ceiling, deifying gravity with his eight little hairy spider legs. We exchange glances.

10:34 am – I look up again and see that the spider has not moved at all, not even a micro of a millimetre. We exchange more glances. He wins the staring contest with his superior eight spider eyes over my ordinary two human eyes.

10:55 am – The spider still has not moved. I decide to call him Timmy. I do not know if his intentions are friendly or hostile yet.

11:24 am – I notice Timmy lowing himself down from the ceiling towards my desk. I wonder if I am about to find out if he just wants a friendly chat or if he is about to cocoon me to my chair.

11:25 am – I lose sight of Timmy.

1:35 pm – Timmy dashes across one of my computer speakers and disappears again.

1:48 pm – Timmy suddenly appears running up the left side of my monitor. He continues to do a lap by running along the top, down the right side, along the bottom (getting cocky with gravity again) before stopping for a rest to catch his breath and disappearing around the back.

2:10 pm – During a conversation with a co-worker Timmy reappears on my desk and runs around for a bit. My co-worker and I stop mid-conversation to watch Timmy for five minutes as he frantically explores the desk. We are easily amused. Eventually Timmy goes back into hiding.

3:12 pm – Timmy suddenly appears crawling over my keyboard. I stop typing and observe his possible attempt to write an email. Eventually he gives up and leaves to explore new areas.

3:28 pm – Timmy climbs up onto the game pad that is sitting on my desk. It occurs to me that he either wants to play the game I am working on or he is secretly a spy from a rival games company. He seems unimpressed either way and leaves again.

3:30 pm – Timmy runs along the edge of my desk forcing me to raise my arms so he can pass. He stops near by. I return to my typing and look back a second later to see he has disappeared. I worry that I either just squashed him or the suspected cocooning is about to start.

3:32 pm – Timmy suddenly reappears on the other side of my desk crawling over my headphones. I decide it will be a while before I wear them again. Timmy runs down the cord and on to my computer. From the computer he crawls to the floor and makes a break for it in the direction of my bag. I wave goodbye and do not see him again.

6:30 pm – I leave work to return home and wonder if Timmy is hiding in my bag and if I’m going to get a sudden and surprising visit in the middle of the night. I decide that if he deals with the mosquitoes during the summer he is allowed to stay and I will adopt him.

19 responses to “Stalked by a Spider”

  1. Cléa says:

    I think Timmy is a girl… and she’s flirting with you! :)

  2. Invader Stu says:

    Clea – It would be a star crossed lovers romance.

  3. BlondebutBright says:

    A spider was hanging out on the wall in my flat all day yesterday – it’s incredible how still it was! Sounds like Timmy is more of the hyperactive variety.

  4. seb says:

    He is a spy sent by Microsfot. I advise you to arm yourself with a lighter and a can of deoderant and do your damn duty soldier!

  5. Invader Stu says:

    BlondebutBright – Maybe you had Timmy’s calmer brother

    seb – But… but… it’s Timmy Sarge.

  6. sophie says:

    This must be a relative of your bike spider, he was showing all what he can do to be appreciated and adopted… you should have applauded!! :-p

  7. Invader Stu says:

    sophie – I was already thinking that he might be relayed to Jimmy the bike spider :)

  8. Anneke says:

    Maybe he was trying to make friends with you. He’s probably lonely. Don’t spiders eat some of their brothers and sisters when they hatch?

  9. Tess says:

    You let a spider force you to raise your arms so he can pass? *ROTFL*
    I let a spider force me to show him or her, the tread on the soles of my Doc Martens :p

    Btw there is no such thing as obesity among spiders, so it probably will only eat one mozzie at a time ;)

  10. Veronica says:

    Please keep on writing your stories, Stu. Thanks to you (and the cats with the funny captions) I’m constantly amusing my colleagues by laughing out loud in the office. I’m already looking forward to the next post.

  11. Ana Luisa says:

    Should we start calling you Peter? :P

  12. Invader Stu says:

    Anneke – I think Jimmy is a nice spider. I don’t think he would do that.

    Tess – One less mozzie is better then none.

    Veronica – Thank you. I will :)

    Ana Luisa – As in Peter Parker?

  13. Dragonlady says:

    Are you sure it was a real spider and not a camara carrying robot spy.
    PS I still need help with Enchanted.

  14. Ana Luisa says:


  15. Blue says:

    At 11.24 Timmy would’ve been toast if he’d been in MY office.

  16. VallyP says:

    Haven’t you got better things to do, Stu ;-)

    I thought I was bored, but this takes the biscuit! Haha

  17. VallyP says:

    If you wish to live and thrive……..well, with your interest in arachnia, you’re going to live and thrive very nicely thanks!

  18. Invader Stu says:

    Dragonlady – It could have been sent by microsoft.

    Ana Luisa – My spider sences are tingling.

    Blue – You stay away from Timmy.

    VallyP – Better things?

  19. Manictastic says:

    Aw, isn’t that cute?

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