Extra British

Extra British

Having recently returned from a Christmas expedition to my home land of England I finds myself reverberating with much more British-ness than usual. My accent has become unmistakably upper-class Victorian in nature and I am currently utilizing words that do not commonly see the light of day within my vocabulary.

This is not an unfamiliar occurrence, not by any stretch of the imagination. The day to day influence of Holland upon my person might suppress my British-ness during the rest of the year but a short trip back to the cricket fields of England where I find myself surrounded by my fellow countrymen always cultivates my inner posh Englishman and makes him flourish to the for ground.

It is not uncommon for my desire to drink tea to rise by 70%, my yearning to invade other countries to increase by 55% or for an extra 46% of my time to be spent listening to cultural and intellectual broadcasts by the British Broadcasting Corporation on the radio (or as it is known when I am being far less British; The BBC).

I do not notice this transformation myself while I am in England, possibly because I am surrounded by like sounding individuals such as the queen as we exchange witticisms. However, upon returning to the flat lands of Holland (as I have just recently done so) it is impossible to ignore the fact that my British-ness has been turned all the way up to 11.

Sadly, once back in Holland and no longer surrounded by the influence of cricket playing Englishmen my elevated levels of British-ness begin to return to… how should I put it?… normaal.

The Dutch way of life starts to have influenish over me again and it is then that… how do you shay?… the Netherlander vay of speaking… er… het is creeping back in.

Then I am thinking, “Oh bloddy hell. Maybe it is time for me to be telling de butler he can retire for de night until the time I am getting the feeling of being fery Brit-ish agayn.”

He-he.

15 responses to “Extra British”

  1. Ash says:

    Imagine if you were a colonial Briton – you could be even moe British than the British and it would take twice as long to wear off once you came back to Holland :)

  2. tenakalaz says:

    Tally-Ho Stu, what, what!

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Ash – I just need to find someway of returning from England to Holland via the 1800.

    Tenakalaz – Indeed. Spiffing.

  4. Alison says:

    My good man, don’t forget to take along a flag if the urge to invade other countries becomes too strong to ignore.

  5. Tess says:

    Man… I thought you weren’t influenced by that ancient British class system. I thought you were ‘normal’ *darn* Did I miss something? :p

  6. Aledys Ver says:

    Capital, my boy! Capital!! :o) (though I guess with this expression, I’m going back to Jane Austen rather than to Victorian times lol!)
    Should you feel the urge to invade a country, please consider attempting to invade Argentina again – I think you’d find a lot less resistance this time, and instead of being showered in hot oil, locals would just invite you to a polo match at the Hurligham Country Club and probably ask you to hand in the trophy to the winners of the Lady Susan Townley Cup…. :o)

  7. Invader Stu says:

    Alison – But of course. Thank you for reminding my dear. How could I take over a flag-less country if I don’t have a flag. I’ll tell general Izzard to get one at once.

    Tess – I thought you knew me better then that. You honestly think I’m normal? My dear, I’m mad as a hatter.

    Aledys Ver – I will tell the queen. She will be most pleased. By the way; do they have a flag?

  8. VallyP says:

    Oh Stu daaahling! What a perfectly spiffing post! Jolly hocky sticks and all that. It’s just not cricket to let it slip though, my boy. Your British stiffishness (ahem) must prevail…I mean your stiff upper lippishness, not…well, you know what I mean ;-)

    By the way, you didn’t spell the Elfstedentocht incorrectly at all. It’s only that, in your fit of Britishness, you separated the words and for the first time I saw the humorous possibilities ;)

  9. Anneke says:

    No flags, there is cake though… :D

  10. Invader Stu says:

    VallyP – But of course. an English gentlemen must always keep a stiff upper lip. I am ashamed that I forgot that for a moment. Please don’t tell the queen.

    Anneke – Ah, no death for you then I see.

  11. VallyP says:

    Your secret’s safe with me ;-)

  12. Keith says:

    I say there, steady on old bean! Remember that you are an ambassador for Britanistan when in foreign lands. Don’t forget the stiff upper lip. . . you will find it just above the soft trembling one.

  13. Invader Stu says:

    VallyP – Thank you

    Keith – That you for reminding old chap. Sometimes I forget myself. I don’t know what came over me.

  14. Manictastic says:

    Oh god, do we sound like that :p

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Manictastic – When I’m doing an impression of how we sound we do :p

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