I arrived in Brussels on a very soggy Thursday after a long train journey from Amsterdam. I was not in the neighbouring country to expand my invasion plans; there were already a large group of expat bloggers who had things under control in that regard. In fact, I was about to meet a few of them. I had been invited to the book launch of the blog become book (with pages and words); My Boy Friend is a Twat by Zoe McCarthy.
The first thing I noticed as I tried to find my way around the city was the large amount of chemists. It seemed that every where I turned I was faced with another green neon cross that is the sign of the legal drug givers. The second thing I noticed in contrast was the lack of any where to by an umbrella and that I was just a little lost. At least if I caught a cold from being rained on so much I would not have to go far for medication.
After a while I managed to get my bearings with the help of my very soggy map and found a place where I was able to by the most European looking tourist umbrella ever invented (blue with the EU stars on it).
I arrived at the book launch just before the speeches began. The Vice-President of the European Commission, Commissioner Margot Wallström, gave a speech introducing Zoe who then gave a reading of a few paragraphs from her book before being joined by the twat himself to read out a few of the well know twattism (a popular feature on her blog).
I had never met Zoe in person before so I was able to stealthily introduce myself as she signed copies of her book for various people at the gathering.
“Who should I make it out to?” She asked as I handed her my copy of the book.
“Invader Stu,” I replied and could not help grinning at the surprised look on her face.
I also got to talk to the Twat himself who took great pride in the fact that he was listed as ‘The Twat’ on the guest list as if it was an official title. I felt like I was meeting a celebrity, a living legend that I had only read about until now.
During our conversation I was even able to get what could be considered a twattism. Hopefully I will not be contacted by Zoe’s lawyers with a cease and desist order for sharing this with you:
Twat: “I’m on my best behaviour tonight. While I was on the podium I wanted to drop my trousers and reveal a pair of jogging bottoms.”
Me: “I’m so glad you finished that sentence with the words ‘jogging bottoms’ and not something else.”
Please don’t sue me Zoe.