The Speculoos Mystery Continues

Speculoos Detective

Case File #113b
Anyone who has been following my investigative adventures will already be familiar with my most famous and bizarre unsolved case; The Great Speculoos Mystery.

It was only a few months ago that I arrived at work in the morning to discover a mysterious jar of Speculoos waiting for me on my desk. It was unclear who it had been placed there by or what their motives for doing so were. A sign of friendship? A display of secret affection? A warning perhaps? Or an attempt to get me re-addicted? Despite my best efforts at the time I was unable to find out who it had come from and no one was talking.

My investigation was at a dead end…

Or so I thought. The case is now reopened. It seems my mysterious benefactor wishes to make contact again. Recently I arrived at work to find this placed on my desk:

Speculoos Jar

A second jar of speculoos sandwich spread. A quite expensive jar by the looks of it as well. Again, there was no note or name left with the jar. Whoever placed it there still wished to remain anonymous, hidden in the shadows. However, they had made one fatal mistake. They had unintentionally left at a clue to their identity. A clue that would lead me straight to them.

Upon examining the jar I discovered that the decorations included a small German flag. Using a process of elimination I was able to conclude that this meant the jar had in fact originated from… Germany. Furthermore, I was aware of one particular colleague who had recently returned from a weekend in Berlin…

Berlin is in Germany… The jar came from Germany… I had him! Yes! The mastermind behind is all was a bearded Dutchman named Bas!

Speculoos Jar Tweet

“You got another jar of speculoos?” He asked after upon seeing my status update when he arrived in the office a short while later.

He was trying to act innocent but I could see the guilt in his eyes. I knew he was the devious mastermind behind it all.

“Yes I did… And I know exactly who it is from this time.”

“Who?” He asked, as if he did not already know.

This was my moment. I stood up and dramatically pointed the finger of accusation at him for all to see.

“It was… from you!”

There was a moment of silence.

“What?” He replied, denying it of course, like all criminals do when they are caught. He was not even aware of his slip up.

“Do not try to deny it. I know it was you.”

“I honestly don’t know what you are talking about.” He replied, trying to act innocent again. In fact he was really quite convincing. He really did look quite confused but I pressed on. I was not going to let myself be fooled.

“I know you just came back from a weekend in Berlin and that was your mistake… Because this jar of speculoos clearly has the German flag on it. You bought it while you were in Berlin, smuggled it back here and placed it on my desk.”

With a look of triumph on my face I dramatically held out the jar of speculoos for effect, showing him the German flag printed upon it. There was no way out of it. I had him! He had been out matched.

He looked at the jar that I had trusted in his face for a moment and then looked at me.

“Errr… That’s the Belgium flag, Stuart.”

“What?” I exclaimed, all authority suddenly gone from my voice as I quickly pulled the jar back to myself and looked at is closely.

“Ah, damn it!”

Speculoos Jar

He was right of course. Upon closer inspection I was able to see that it was in fact the Belgium flag. In fact, it rather obviously had the name Belgium written above it in gold letters (and might have been stolen from the Belgian Royal Household by the looks of it). My whole case had just fallen apart. I had just accused an innocent man of a crime he did not commit and I am no closer to solving the mystery.

“Then who the heck is it from?” I asked no one in particular, deeply confused.

Everyone who had been listening shrugged.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

18 Responses

  1. Bas says:

    So, how did I travel back from Berlin: a straight flight to Amsterdam, or…?

  2. And thus the mystery continues… let’s hope that no Belgians hear that you confused their flag with the German one.

    (It reminds me about an American news station that, during the Sochi coverage, confused the Dutch flag as being American and the Canadian flag as the Dutch one.)

  3. dragon lady says:

    Maybe it is from the Belgium Royal household in commiseration that you did not get to be the new Dutch king after all. Anyone seen any Belgium Royal equerries in the office?

  4. Terri says:

    Or it’s a red herring, bought in an Amsterdam specialty food store just to throw you off track…

  5. Eliana says:

    Now, I’m curious too! Who? But, the question: Do you like speculoos? I like the cookie but this, I didn’t try it yet!

    • Invader_Stu says:

      OH god. I love the stuff. That’s why I need to find out who is doing this. They know my weakness and might be trying to use it to their advantage.

  6. Ferry says:

    OMG!!! this is hilarious! You need to read more Sherlock Holmes books to get better in investigating tricky and dark mysteries like this one. But, keep faith, one of these times he’s going to make a mistake and be sure you’ll notice it! It will lead you straight to him.

    • Invader Stu says:

      I think who ever it is they have been reading lots of Sherlock Holmes because they are still out witting me.

  7. Alison says:

    Ah, the grand dénouement. Too bad it wasn’t the right culprit. I think you should call in Scooby Doo. I’m sure he can “sniff out” this evil mastermind. Although he may eat all the speculoos in the process. For investigative research, of course.

  8. WanderingSnail says:

    Ha, if you want to carry on receiving unsolicited pots of Speculoos, you must not solve the mystery…..

  9. VallyP says:

    Haha, faced down by a flag :) I get them confused too, Stu! So, the mystery continues….

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