Speculoos Relapse

Speculoos Relapse

Many of the long term readers will already know the story of my long and difficult struggle with Speculoos addiction. For a long time I was powerless against the desire and the uncontrollable need for its delicious goodness. My addiction to the Speculoos sandwich paste was particularly bad.

When the addiction was at its worst I was on two, sometimes three jars of the stuff a month. Sometimes the need would get so bad that I would lick the empty jars clean. In fact, I would continue to eat the stuff even when it made me feel unwell. I tried to seek help but apparently you can’t actually OD from Speculoos addiction according to the so called doctors who dismissed me from the hospital emergency room.

I just couldn’t stop myself. One time, when the shops were shut and I desperately needed a fix, I tried crushing Speculoos biscuits and mixing them with butter to make my own. It was not a pretty sight (also, it didn’t work) .

It took hitting rock bottom to make me realize just how serious my problem was. I knew something had to be done.

It was not easy. It was a long and difficult road to recovery but I got myself clean. I got my addiction under control and I got my life back. I have not touch Speculoos for three years. I am no longer tempted by its delicious goodness. I am free of its control… At least I thought I was until I saw this…


Speculoos Relapse 2

Oh my god. It’s sooooo good! I can’t help myself.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

26 Responses

  1. Angela says:

    I’m yet to try speculoos, i’ve managed to resist the urge to buy it for 3 years for the same reason I don’t ever buy Nutella – i’m worried i’ll become totally addicted to it! I cringe at the thought of how many delicious calories it has :)

  2. Wezz6400 says:

    A weakness, ah. *scrible* *scrible* Now I know how I will take over this country and forcefully abdicate King Stu: introduce Speculoos Vla Crunchy. Yes, yeeeeeeees. Mwuhaha.

  3. VallyP says:

    It sounds totally yuk to me! Sorry, Stu, but a combination of specloos and chocolate? Shudder :-)

  4. Invader_Stu says:

    Angela – You are far stronger then me if you can resist it. I’ve put on too many of those delicious calories.

    Wezz6400 – What is this? Betrayal?! I thought you were a loyal person. You have been plotting against me this whole time? This can not be!

    VallyP – Good. More of the stuff for me :p

  5. Angela says:

    Actually, you just gave me an idea! I will buy some Speculoos to take home to Sydney this Wednesday! I’m sure the Aussies will love it! Not the same as bringing back Vegemite for the Dutchies :) I think the Aussies got the better part of that deal…

  6. Beth says:

    oh man, this makes me feel terrible – I consider 2/3 jars of speculoos per month an incredible achievement of self restraint!

  7. Invader Stu says:

    Angela – I agree. I’ve never understood Vegemite :p

    Beth – You can join my Speculoos support group.

  8. Jonathan says:

    “If they ever make Speculoos flavoured Vla we are both screwed.”

    Speculaas vla does exist, but to avoid all expats turn into zombies it is branded as “herfst tinten” as non-Dutch brains cannot proccess so many consecutive consonants let alone pronounce them.

    As an extra precaution it is only sold part of the year.

    http://www.ciao-shopping.nl/Zuivelhoeve_Boer_n_Vla_Herfst_Tinten_Blanke_Vla_met_Speculaas__2222333

  9. Siegfried says:

    Fantastic blog you have here! really, really nice. How many posts in total do you have? it is 7 years now! Good luck with the contest!

  10. Invader Stu says:

    Jonathan – If I ever get my hands on that I think my life might be over.

    Siegfried – Thank you. The current count is 368

  11. suus says:

    Hah! I saw a commercial for this and it made me think of you. Poor speculant.

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