Speculaas Addiction

Speculoos

Hello. My name is Stuart and I’m an addict…

For a while now I’ve been trying to keep my problem a secret from everyone I know and love. I guess the reality is that I was trying to avoid acknowledging that I even ‘had’ a problem. As if hiding my addiction from the outside world meant the addiction itself didn’t really exist.

However, things have gotten worse recently and I am unable to control my addiction any longer. I feel the uncontrollable cravings getting stronger all of the time. I need it. I can’t function without it any more. It is time to admit that I am hopelessly addicted to Speculaas sandwich spread.

Speculaas Withdrawal

I can’t help myself. I have only just discovered the stuff but it is so delicious. If it was not for Holland’s tolerance of certain addictive substances I’m sure Speculaas sandwich spread would already have been classified as a class A drug and made illegal. It’s the only way to explain my uncontrollable need to frantically lick the jar and my fingers clean whenever my supply has almost run out.

I’ve tried to get myself clean but there is no hope of me achieving this impossible goal. Every time I walk past the breakfast goods section in the Albert Heijn the Speculaas calls out to me. Before I know it I am rushing to the checkout with an arm load of jars which I take home and hide around the house in case there is a sudden intervention.

Speculaas/Speculoos

Speculaas sandwich spread actually comes from Speculaas cookies which are traditionally available during Sinterklaas (but are now available all year round). In Belgium it is known as Speculoos, which means the Dutch and Belgium enjoy a lot of time arguing over spelling. The cookies themselves are also very addictive but when they are crushed down in to their purist crumb form and (through a special process) turned into sandwich spread they become a hundred times more addictive. The cookies are just a gateway snack to the truly addictive sandwich spread. I honestly cannot convey to you how addicted I am to the stuff.

My addiction is so bad that I even tried to make Speculaas sandwiches between two Speculaas cookies instead of bread. I nearly ODed but it was worth it.

Speculaas Sandwich

I don’t usually endorse destructive or damaging behaviour but if you can find a Speculaas sandwich spread provider you should try some. It’s worth the uncontrollable addiction to its amazing taste.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

33 Responses

  1. suus says:

    Btw, Stu. I followed your blog in the old days, then you quit. And after the Universal Sigh of Disbelief you’ve obviously gotten back to your senses and your blogging. Great to see you back. :)

  2. Invader Stu says:

    susuus – That’s the spirit :)

    Thanks for coming back. You’re right, I did come to my senses :)

    anna – Yes it is. It’s made by the Speculoos fairies in Speculoos land were it grows on the magic speculoos tree. *puts fingers in ears* La la la la la.

    (but I know what you mean)

  3. Gez says:

    MMMMMMMmmmmmm…

    Spe-cu-loos…

    *Eyes stare vacantly, tongue lols, saliva dribbles….*

  4. Invader Stu says:

    Gez – That’s the affect it has on me too

  5. VallyP says:

    LOL, what extreme reactions here, Stu! I so enjoyed this post. I know so what you mean by the addiction! I don’t dare buy it anymore because I lso eat it straight from the jar if it’s on board, but I’ve never tried the biccie sarmies! Awesome!!! Must try those for sure…even if it’s only for Christmas…then I’ll have to give up again. BTW I’m also kind of addicted to Peanut butter too, so i’m guessing you are too…speculoos spread is like the conoisseurs nutty butter, no?

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    I’m sorry to disappoint you VallyP. I can’t stand Peanut butter (or Pindakass as it’s known by its street name). I’ve tried it once or twice but I can’t handle it. So I’m always very careful that I’m not getting the Speculoos and Pindakaas mixed up.

  7. Nienke says:

    Hi, I just found your blog while SOGging (Studie Ontwijkend Gedrag) and I have to give some additional info here, as I’m a annoying and traumatised purist.
    Speculoos is different from speculaas. My boyfriend is from Belgium and I’m Dutch, and we’ve found the cookies tasted different in the two countries. So we did some research and we discovered that speculaas contains certain spices, while speculoos contains caramel. Speculoos comes from Belgium, while speculaas is everywhere over the Netherlands. While Lotus Speculoos now has started to invade the kikkerland, it is impossible for me to find some decent speculaas in Belgium. Boohoo.
    Maybe you could also try Bastogne koeken, as they’re also made by adding caramel? Or Bastogne koeken with almond, extremely addictive!

  8. Invader Stu says:

    Nienke – I was actully getting a bot mixed up about the whole speculaas and Speculoos thing so it is good to have it cleared up. I don’t know if I should go any where near Bastogne koeken though, I’ll be come even more of a hopeless addict.

  9. Dragonlady says:

    I’m afraid you will have to bring some with you when you come over Stuart, I don’t want you going cold turkey on us. All we can offer is peanut butter (crunchy or smooth), chocolate spread, some really nice caramel spread from Brittany and really British Rum butter and Brandy butter.

  10. Invader Stu says:

    That’s not a bad idea. I’ll have to bring some with us so you can try it.

  11. The girlfriend says:

    ofcourse we will :D Let’s invade Brittian with this….

  12. Invader Stu says:

    How did I go from from invading Holland to invading my own homeland? You did this to me woman! *points finger at ‘the’ girlfriend*

  13. Jennifer de Jong says:

    OMG!!!! I have to try this! I love Seepklatjes!!!! Can’t imagine it in a spread…. :) WOW

  14. Invader Stu says:

    You will be amazed. the stuff is so good.

  15. BilgeRat says:

    migawd. I thought that Nutella was the most dangerous, addictive substance known to food science. Now you tell me about this; I’m sunk, truly sunk… My only hope may be that it just isn’t available in the Midwest of The States…

    Oh good lord…
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_fb_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dgrocery&field-keywords=speculoos&sprefix=speculoos%2Celectronics%2C240