During the summer holidays my parents and my girlfriend’s parents met for the very first time. We had arranged to spend the weekend with my girlfriend’s parents while my parents were visiting us in Holland. This might sound like the plot of a sitcom waiting to happen but once we had convinced my father that he really did not need to wear a suit to meet her parents (and make us look any more English then we already are) everything was fine. My parents and her parents got along very well and it was very gezellig.
To mark the occasion my girlfriend and myself decided to cook a traditional English meal of Indian curry for us all to enjoy.
We started to prepare the meal by cutting the vegetables and arranging the ingredients we would require. Both our parents sat at the nearby table, chatting with each other and occasionally watching us as we demonstrated our culinary skills.
As my girlfriend put the ingredients into the wok and stirred them I concentrated very hard upon my vegetable chopping duties to avoid adding to my collection of kitchen knife related accident finger scars. This must have given me the focused appearance of someone who takes cooking very seriously because my girlfriend’s mother smiled as she watched my careful slicing and dicing of a yellow pepper. She then slowly turned to look at my parents and with the same smile upon her face announced to them in her Dutch accent, “Stuart is turning into a real cock.”
There was a pause. I stopped mid-chop, my girlfriend stopped mid-stir and my parents stopped mid-being-English. We all looked at each other.
“Mum!” My girlfriend suddenly broke the silence, barely able to keep a straight face. “You just called my boyfriend a Pimol!”
“What?! Nee, nee, nee. Dat was niet mijn bedoeling!” Her mother tried to frantically correct the mistake.
It was too late; with the silence broken we had already burst out laughing loudly and uncontrollably and were unable to stop. After we all regained the ability to breathe and wiped the tears from our eyes some time later we explained to her that the word she had been looking for was ‘cook’… She had of course been using the Dutch word kok, which is pronounced cock but means cook. At least I hope that’s what she had been doing.