Super Party Formula

Super Party

Everyone loves a party but not all parties are successful. It’s hard to tell why some are, “off the hook,” where others fail. However, after much experimentation I believe I have come up with the formula for the perfect party. I have scientifically extracted the best parts from different kinds of parties and combined them into one. If my calculations are correct the results should be amazing. If I am wrong the party could become unstable and explode, resulting in the destruction of 65% of the planet.

Party goers are required to adhere to the fancy dress code of a Halloween party combined with the pajama wearing and pillow fighting of a slumber party. Once everyone has arrived the party will start with the gift giving and receiving that takes place at Christmas parties minus rubbish presents like socks.

Jelly, ice-cream and a variety of other party foods often found at a child’s birthday party will then be served on brightly coloured paper plates with images of Thomas the Tank Engine on them. A bouncy castle and ball pen will also be available. Games of pass the parcel, musical chairs and other party favourites will take place through out the night.

There will be a photocopier available for the party goers who wish to partake in the traditional ass photocopying that often takes place at office parties. There will also be the random guilt free destruction of the host’s property that takes place at all house warming parties.

The fruit punch will be spiked like any good college celebration and there will be more alcoholic beverages available then can be found hidden in any dorm room. At the beginning of the night the DJ will start by playing the best of 80s party music and slowly work his way up to the best of present day party music by the end of the night. At least one swaying person who is too drunk to dance should be on the dance floor at all times (during the night this number might multiply).

At midnight there will be the count down and mandatory kissing that takes place at all New Years Eve parties before everyone passes out in awkward positions that would make even a circus contortionist cry out in pain.

Finally it is very important that everyone is leg less by the end of the night and can’t remember anything the next morning. This is required so proper scientific readings can be taken to measure how successful the party experiment really was. As all good scientists know the only way to measure how much fun a party goer had is by seeing how hung over they feel the next morning.

Scientist: “How was the party last night?”
Party Goer: “It was great, amazing, fantastic… I can’t see anymore.”

21 responses to “Super Party Formula”

  1. Stavanger says:

    Perfect formula Stu! Simple like 1+1=4, brilliant like E=MCSQUARED.

  2. marycub says:

    It also has to have at least a couple of people who you haven’t seen in a long time that you can catch up with; someone who is totally hot and wants you (with or without beer goggles) so that you can pull at some point in the night and feel good about yourself; and an essential ingredient i have found is not your boring bog standard jelly but alco jelly shots. These always help a party along.

    Now that you have a formula you should put it to the test in the Sims 2 computer game (for test purposes only you understand) and see if you truly are the party einstein.

  3. sophie says:

    haha I think such a party definitively would become ‘unstable and explode’… :-) some parts of it would become too long, some people would not like to abandon them (everything seems so nice! too much excitement haha!). but I miss something that normally is in every great party, improvisation…

  4. roxanne says:

    Can I be invited? As long as I can pass on the post party examination part, count me in!

  5. Tess says:

    What happened to traditional boobs photocopying while pinning the tail on the donkey??? *Oops Tess, don’t just give it away girl*

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Stavanger – It will go down in history.

    Marycub – But alco jelly shots would not be in-line with a childrens party… not any children’s party I have been to anyway.

    sophie – I’ll be able to provide that after Friday.

    Roxanne – If you want to have the full party event I am afraid you must under go the post party examination.

    Tess – The photocopier is there is you really want to do that. Sounds like you have been to some interesting office parties :p

  7. sophie says:

    then it would be perfect

  8. BlondebutBright says:

    I’d like more detail on the “could become unstable and explode” bit. What exactly does that mean?

  9. Tess says:

    I never said I was going to do that, all I’ll be doing is pinning tails… Yes I have been to some very interesting office parties [that’s what you get working in advertising…] but I’m not gonna spill the beans on here. Remind me again in two weeks and one day :9

  10. Tess says:

    I never said I was going to do that *tsk*, all I’ll be doing is pinning tails… Yes I have been to some very interesting office parties [that’s what you get working in advertising…] but I’m not gonna spill the beans on here. Remind me again in two weeks and one day :9

  11. Invader Stu says:

    BlondebutBright – Who knows. It cold be kind of messy or it could be kind of fun.

  12. Invader Stu says:

    Tess – Sounds like it should be interesting.

  13. Ash says:

    This formula DEFINITELY must be tested… at my house, August 25th… =P

  14. ChickyBabe says:

    Count me in. Just count me out the next morning…

  15. marycub says:

    hmm i was unaware that u were talking about a kiddy party. Maybe hide the alco jellies in the dorm room also? Hey hang on a minute… “Everyone should be legless at the end of the night” interesting kids party you’ve been to!!

  16. Jeroen says:

    Fantastic formula..However no party is complete without the obliguatory loud goodbyes that wake up the whole neighbourhood; ie honking of horns (bicycle bells), the enless “doei doei” and other funny remarks that the neighbours will be delighted to wake up to.

  17. Invader Stu says:

    Ash – You do realize you just sent an open invitation to the whole internet? :p

    ChickyBabe – Sorry. You have to be in for the whole thing or not at all :p

    marycub – The whole thing is not a kiddy party. Only that part of it. The alcho jelly can go with the student ingredient of the party.

    Jeroen – I knew I was forgetting something :p

  18. sophie says:

    haha! just think of your party and it’s pure success, what it should be if it was real! :-p

  19. ellen says:

    Sounds ideal; I’ll bring the shrimp ring.

  20. Dragon lady says:

    Is this a hint for your Birthday this year?

  21. VallyP says:

    Hmmmm, seems a tad too eclectic to me Stu….I mean which part is measureable…the enjoyment of kiddy jellies and ice cream? Nah…not really representative now is it? Why di I get hte feeling this is about your ideal party now??

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