Live Blogging – Euro Vision Semi Final

Euro Vision Semi Final

This is a completely improvised blog post, written live during the euro vision song contest semi final (Now Updated with links):

“Wow. I really believe these presenters are improvising everything they are saying. It sounds so spontaneous and not painfully rehearsed at all.”

“I think Jamiroquai had a sex change and is singing for Holland.”

“I would have loved to have been at the meeting were that one Malta singer pitched yellow trousers as a good idea.”

“I think the Belarus entry is having an identity crisis. Death metal? Pop? Boy Band? Christian rock? What are you aiming for????”

“Euro Vision, this is starting to physically hurts. Stop trying so hard.”

“Is this the Croatia entry or the Scottish entry. I’m not sure because of the two Scottish goth dancers in the black kilts.”

“Oh my god! The female Swedish entry just broke out the MC Hammer dance moves. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life (I actually could not stop laughing for a full minute).”

“Hey! Lady Gaga just made a cameo in the Georgia entry. I think she helped out with the costumes too.”

“I’m feeling pretty ashamed to be European right about now.”

“Hey, Eurovison Song Contest organisers here is an idea; hire some presenters who can actually present and don’t act like terrified blocks of wood.”

“There seems to be a bunch of super hero pirates singing for Turkey. It’s the only explanation for the capes and the nautical theme.”

“Oh my god! The boat! The boat! Look at them rocking out in the boat!”

Slovakia has either taken us back to the 80s or 90s. I’m not sure which yet.”

“The Norway entry looks like it’s being sung by the cast of the hair wax commercial.”

“Is the Lithuania entry wearing a blind fold because he was kidnapped by the mafia and forced to sing in euro vision song contest?”

“Did he just sing; I can’t believe it’s shoe?”

“The Bosina & Herzergovian entry is going to have someone’s eyes out with those shoulder Pads.”

”My God!The male presenter just won’t stop grinning. It’s starting to get scary.”

“95% of the camera shots in this year’s Eurovsion song contest involved the varouse bands pointing into the camera.”

“The presenters have finally realized no one actually listens to anything they say and just started babbling. Agh! They’ve seen the glitch in the Matrix.”

“The male presenter seems to have been gone for a while now. I think his grin finally ruptured and he had to be rushed off to hospital.”

“Oh god no! He’s on stage and he is singing an Abba song with the previous winners… I say singing an Abba song. I mean murdering an Abba song.”

“Wow. This presenter is as good at building suspense.”

“No Holland but; Yessss!!! Sweden made it through. We get to see more sweet McHammer moves.”

10 responses to “Live Blogging – Euro Vision Semi Final”

  1. Terri says:

    I actually miss watching this. I used to love laughing until I had the worst stomach ache ever and my husband worrried I would rupture something.

    Your running commentary was almost as good, though. Thanks for that…

  2. “I’m feeling pretty ashamed to be European right about now.”

    Don’t worry, Stu. I’m sure there is a whole Eurovision support group/community out there who feel exactly the same way.

    So the transsexual Dutch Jamiroquai, were they any good to begin with?

  3. Alison says:

    I kept referring to the Bos/Herz singer as Zoltar and I was really hoping she’d stand up from the piano suddenly and just back-kick the seat away like a badass. Sadly, no.

  4. Invader Stu says:

    Terri – I think I almost ruptured something. I’ve not laughed that hard and that uncontrollably for a while.

    Barb the French Bean – The song was… interesting.

    Alison – That would have been so sweet, and then she just starts rocking out.

  5. Dragonlady says:

    You didn’t mention the English entry. Was poor old Elglebert that bad, surely not. Your Dad reckons his song was quite good. Not that we stand a chance anyway, maybe we take it to seriously and try to win instead of just going with the flow.

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Noriko – It’s the greatest comedy show on earth :)

    Dragonlady – We only saw the semi final. I guess England did not make it that far?

  7. Allison says:

    I nearly bust a gut at the accordion player busting out the Michael Jackson moves, the”yodelectronica” and the little mushroom skirts that were inexplicably popular.

    My absolute favorite, of all the cheese on offer, was the Maldovan entry. The lyrics were prime! “You have never been at my show. You haven’t seen before how looks the trumpet”. It seems that the trumpet also makes some poor creature his girl. He sang with so much feeling (read: over done with much reaching towards the camera for some unknown reason) as if any of it made some sort of sense.

    I can only hope that I mangle Dutch as entertainingly as that guy does English. It’s good to have goals :)

  8. Invader Stu says:

    Allison – I only just saw the Michael Jackson moonwalking bagpiper tonight. That was brilliant.

  9. Yvette says:

    Hahaha looks like you weren’t the only one who really liked the Swedish! :)

    Last night was actually my first-ever Eurovision. I was prepared for awful music, but not for the fact that the voting in many, many ways was more interesting than the competition. Why did no one tell me that in advance?

  10. Invader Stu says:

    Yvette – Hehe. It’s a good laugh but the voting most of the time has little to do with the songs. They just vote for the countries they get along with or want something from.

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