Life on Mars

Life on Mars

This week NASA revealed that the Mars Rover ‘Curiosity’ has discovered something big. Something huge! Something for the history books! Something that will blow our minds!… But they are are not telling us what it is yet. Although the discovery will not be made public until December I for one wish to welcome to our new alien overlords.

Normally I would not write about this kind of thing on my blog but I could not pass up the opportunity to make a bunch of nerdy jokes as I make wild speculation about what this important discovery could be.

WARNING: Readers born after the 80s might not have a clue what I am rambling on about.

  • The Mars Rover has confirmed that men are from Mars. A second mission is required to confirm whether women are from Venus.
  • The last transmission from the Martian surface simply shows the Mars Rover getting face-hugged before the video feed cuts out.
  • After an encountered with a black obelisk the Mars Rover evolved into the first entity to fully understand the real meaning behind the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  • NASA has made contact with representatives of a race with far superior technology to our own; Mr & Mrs Spoon of Button Moon.
  • The Mars Rover was attacked and scavenged for parts by a tribe of Clangers.
  • The Mars Rover was attacked by a group of Jawas and sold to a young farm boy strong in the ways of the force.
  • The Mars Rover accidently stumbled through a Star Gate.
  • The Mars Rover has been adopted by The Doctor as a replacement for K9.
  • The real primary mission has been complete; search for Spook.
  • The mission has had to be put on hold because the Mars Rover has become romantically involved and run off with one of the aliens from Batteries Not Included.
  • In an unexpected turn of events NASA has to hold a press conference revealing to the world that the aliens from Mac & Me are real.
  • NASA are disappointed to discover that they have been beaten to it and the first man mission to Mars has been completed by Wallace & Gromit who were discovered having a picnic on the surface of the planet.
  • The inhabitants of Mars reviled themselves to NASA by lodging a formal complaint about the noise of all the Mars Rover’s digging and drilling.
  • After analysing soil samples and consulting the Dulux paint colour range NASA can now confirm that Mars is more ‘Summer Nights Crimson’ then ‘Red’.
  • The Mars Rover has discovered the crashed remains of; The Battlestar Galactica, Red Dwarf or George Jetson’s Space Buggy.
  • The Dutch really did do this…
  • 14 responses to “Life on Mars”

    1. mub says:

      Ha! I love the adopted by the Doctor one ;)

    2. M. Verhoef says:

      or it has been attacked by Daleks (>_<)

    3. Martijn says:

      I still wonder whether the “Now we wait/Nou, wie weet” in the Heineken ad was accidental Dunglish or a stroke of genius. Or both.

    4. HolmesInterventionsLtd says:

      Ha! The only news of any useful significance would be if they had discovered some of the lost episodes of Doctor Who from the 1960’s. Also, you are surely too young to know what a Clanger is. Whereas I watched the original run. Wanna borrow the DVD box set?! I love The Clangers.

    5. Invader_Stu says:

      Mub – Hopefully so does the Mar Rover

      M. Verhoef – Or evolved into the first Dalek :p

      Martijn – Either way it is great.

      HolmesInterventionsLtd – I do indeed know the Clangers (although via repeats). How can anyone claim to be British and not know what a Clanger, Womble or Paddington Bear is :p

    6. Yvette says:

      Nice post! Looking forward to the announcement myself- actively checking my sources for leaks. :)

    7. Invader Stu says:

      Yvette – You have people on the inside? :p

    8. Jules says:

      Only if the Heineken was brewed in Holland, though…from what I understand, Heineken in the States isn’t nearly that tempting.

    9. Invader Stu says:

      Jules – That’s probably why the American team looked so baffled.

    10. VallyP says:

      I’m sure everyone else knows what you’re talking about…..

    11. Likeahike says:

      Ah, such nostalgia. I’d forgotten about Batteries Not Included. But doesn’t Twiki deserve being mentioned as well?

    12. I particularly liked the Wallace and Gromit reference. What kind of cheese do you think Mars is made of? (Not Wensleydale, of course.)

    13. Invader Stu says:

      VallyP – Everyone else but not you? :p

      Likeahike – I must confess I don’t know much about Twiki
      or what he was in.

      Barb – I don’t know… Is there a red cheese?

    14. Simon says:

      Didn’t Wallace and Gromit go to the moon for their picnic? Mars is made of Red Leicester, or maybe Double Gloucester or Red Windsor.

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