“I could be over thinking it but it just seems a little too suspicious,” I told my soon to be wife, “One would not have been that suspicious but there are three of them. ”
I read aloud the facebook status updates that had been posted by three of my friends, all of which were along the lines of ‘such-and-such is having a nice lazy day’ and ‘what’s-his-face does not know what to do with his free day’.
On any other weekend this would seem like quite a normal thing to announce to the world. People are entitled to their lazy weekends after all. But this was not just any weekend. This was one of the three weekends left before our wedding. This was one of the weekends when my surprise stag party could be sprung upon me and I have a habit of rambling on like a paranoid conspiracy theorist when I think something is going to happen.
“No, You’re right. I’m over thinking it. I’ll stop.” I said even though my almost wife had not actually said anything. I sat down to drink my tea which was now cold because I had spent so long staring out of the window like an overly enthusiastic neighbourhood watch representative. I put all thought of surprises and stag parties out of my mind… for about 5 seconds.
“It’s just suspicious that they would all post around the same time. I mean… sure there is enough time between each post that makes it seem like it could just be a coincidence but that might all be part of the deception, a cunning attempt to throw me off their trail.”
My soon to be wife just looked at me and blinked as I continued to have a conversation with myself at her.
“I think what I find the most suspicious is the simple fact that they were all up so early to make those posts.”
All the posts had been made around 9am. That’s early when you are a guy, a fact that I often have to remind my soon to be wife of when she tries to wake me up at the ungodly hour of 11am most weekends. The only reason I was up so early now was because I didn’t fancy the idea of being whisked away to my stag party in my boxer shorts (If it was going to happen).
“And they all sent them from their phones too. Well… that could be because they only just woke up and have not gone to the computer yet… you know… a kind of lazy bed status update thing but it could also mean they are already half way here… No. No, you are right. I’m over thinking it again. I’ll stop. It’s probably next weekend.”
I sat down again, sipped my cold tea and put all the suspicious thoughts out of my mind.
“What time do you think we should decide that they definitely are not coming?” I asked.
…To be continued.