The Chemist

Continuation from: Good vs Bad

When I went to the chemist to collect the medication for my recent stomach bacteria problems (otherwise known as the Epic Bacteria War of twenty-ten) the chemist asked to see my medical insurance card before he would hand over ‘the goods’. Obviously he did not believe in the ‘first one is free’ policy used by most of his fellow drug providers on the streets of Amsterdam or know the subtleties of the hand over handshake they use to hide the transaction from any watching cops. It was at that point that I decided anti-bacteria meds were probably not that addictive or provide much of a buzz. Either way it seemed safe to say that they most likely had a low street value. I quickly checked for cops and attempted to give him my medical insurance card as requested.

I say ‘attempted’ because when I pulled my wallet out of my pocket to do so I also managed to spill a small countries financial aid in coins all over the floor. Coins rolled off in every direction in search of hiding places under shelves, counters and displays. I quickly handed the requested card to the chemist and went on a frantic coin scavenger hunt as I attempted to stop the in progress coin break out with the assistance of other customers pointing out the round little fugitives.

If this had been a street deal this probably would have been the point when the chemist ‘popped a cap in my ass’ for acting too much like a strung out junkie with the shakes.

After all the coins were accounted for I returned to the desk to be faced with an amused looking chemist. There was something in his smile and the long pause that told me he was amused by something else other than the coin fiasco. To add to this he was showing me my own medical insurance card. I looked between he’s ‘do you get it yet’ smile and my medical insurance card several times in puzzlement. Just as I was about to ask if he had been dipping into his own supply I suddenly got it. It was not my medical insurance card he was holding at all. It was my NS rail card. I had handed him the wrong card during all the coin chaos.

I would have been killed again at this point and dumped in a dumpster as a warning to other junkies.

Since neither of us was on a train I quickly handed him the correct card (making very sure it was not my bank card or video rental card first) and collected my medication. Likely for me he was a nice provider of drugs and found the whole thing very amusing (that or he was behaving himself in case I was wearing a wire).

(Thank you everyone who has sent me get well soon messages. I am very grateful and feeling much better.)

14 responses to “The Chemist”

  1. Alison says:

    Glad you’re feeling better and didn’t get capped in the ass by a gangsta chemist.

  2. Bart says:

    So at which station did you get out?

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Alison – Me too. Thanks :)

    Bart – Chemist station apparently :p

  4. A Touch of Dutch says:

    I love how you have shared this! Got a big laugh out of me :-)
    I’m glad you’re feeling better!

  5. Dave Hampton says:

    Hopefully the perscription included a few days of bed rest as well…and hope you’re back on your feet for the upcoming show!

  6. Invader Stu says:

    A Touch of Dutch – Thank you :)

    Dave Hampton – I should be. I’m already feeling much better :)

  7. Jase says:

    LOL, that’s hilarious!
    If you ever need a spare health insurance card, I can send you a few of mine. Not sure why, but they’ve sent me 5 identical ones over the last 2 months.

  8. Invader Stu says:

    I’ll take one. After everything mine turned out to be out of date :p

  9. VallyP says:

    LOL Stu, must have been quite embarrassing especially with the uncertainty about the ‘dealer’. So glad you are feeling better now!

  10. Invader Stu says:

    VallyP – Thanks. I am feeling much better now and a lot happier for it :)

  11. Just a Plane Ride Away says:

    LOL! We have too many cards as well. My daughter accidentally tried to use her Oyster Card to pay for her school lunch. Her ID card and the Oyster are the same colour. The cafeteria woman gave her a blank look…

    Glad to see you’re feeling better.

  12. Invader Stu says:

    Just a Plane Ride Away – Hehe. Well she is not alone. I’ve done it a few times. I’ve also used my AH bonus card at the gym before.

  13. Annie says:

    I so enjoyed reading several of your blog entries and the cartoons added to my amusement . . . Congrats on the 4 years.
    I’ve also been experiencing a GI upset and I’m unable to find anything even remotely amusing about it although I could make several blog entries on doctor’s visits over the years….

  14. Invader Stu says:

    Hi Annie. thanks for the compliment :) I hope your GI upsets become less soon.

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