Keep on Jogging

Jogging

New Years Resolutions are never easy to keep. Seven years ago I decided my goal would be to learn Chess. To date my only knowledge of the game is that trampling the opponent’s peaces with a toy dinosaur while making roaring noises is sadly not a winning move. My only successful New Years Resolution so far has been to stop smoking which was very easy because I had never started (so officially I still failed).

This year I decided my task would be to exercise more, eat healthier and get in shape. These goals were not easy either. Every short jog was an exhausting marathon which left me in desperate need of an oxygen mask and a stretcher to carry me home. Every snack left on a co-workers desk was a tempting offer, triggering a whisper of a voice in my mind telling me to blame its sudden disappearance on the greedy office mice.

There was several times where it seemed I would give in and fail. However, I have managed to be good and things have slowly gotten easier. I am able to resist the temptation of liberating co-workers snacks (the mice beat me to it anyway) and I no longer need a paramedic team on stand by in case I keel over during my evening run. My health is slowly improving and I can now out run every enthusiastic dog who think I am inviting them to take part in a friendly game of fetch the jogger (as they drag their owners behind them). Soon I might turn into Stuart Austin, The Six Million Euro Expat.

However, jogging has a darker side as well as a good side, its own Ying & Yang or Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hide.

On the one side a jogger is someone with a mission. As they run through the streets and fields in their trainers and tracksuit they are someone trying to improve their health through exorcise. You can see the determination and commitment on their faces as they speed by. These are qualities to admire.

However, all that changes the moment any jogger slows to a walk. Suddenly they no longer look like a jogger. Suddenly they look like a Chav. With out the act of running they simply look like someone walking around in a tracksuit as a fashion statement. The fact that they are still out of breath could be mistaken for the results of a quick get away from a shop security guard. At least that would explain some of the strange looks I have got in the street.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

39 Responses

  1. Invader_Stu says:

    Bibi – The one with Ginger hair of course :)

    Kees – I’ll have to keep an eye out for them

    Ash – Oh… that seems a lot more innocent.

  2. Invader_Stu says:

    Ash – Who me?

    Marycub – Sorry :p

  3. Tess says:

    Hiya, I know exactly what you need: get rid of the gold chains, bracelets, [ear]rings and such; too heavy to carry anyway ;) and get yourself the cool looking gadgets instead, e.g. iShuffle and a pedometer, and don’t forget your bottle of ‘Spa’ water… :)

    [Seriously: it will get easier and addictive too]

  4. Laura says:

    What’s wrong with us Dutch Chavs and why don’t you want to be like us? Do you have ANY idea how expensive it is to look this cheap?

  5. Invader_Stu says:

    Ash – I didn’t say anything. It must be you with the dirty mind :p

    Tess – Get rid of my gold? Don’t know one make Mr T get rid of his gold. I pity the fool.

    I’m already at the addictive stage :)

    Laura – I new I was getting it the wrong way around. I was spending very little money to look cheap.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Laura – I was going to comment on your blog but could not see any where to log in… it might have just been me being blind :p

  7. Dragonlady says:

    Keep up the jogging and you to might run the London marathon dressed as a bumble bee.

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Na, I want to dress in one of those rino costumes

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