Whenever someone suggests having ‘just one beer’ after a day at the office everyone knows that what they really mean is this; “Let’s start with just one beer and then proceed to drink more, much more.” The person who makes the suggestion of ‘just one beer’ might not even be aware of what they are really saying but they are saying it anyway.
It is not long before ‘just one beer’ turns into two beers, then three, four or five and eventually finishes with you stumbling home, falling asleep on your couch and spilling beer on yourself when you were attempting to watch repeats of Law and Order that you were far too drunk to follow the plot of anyway.
Despite this risk myself and a couple of work friends decided to go for ‘just one beer’ last Thursday evening after work. However, one member of our group wanted to go home instead. I tried to convince him that he should join us for ‘just one beer’ on the grounds that if he didn’t he was a pansy and not a real man. Despite my persuasive and logical argument (which lasted for several minutes) he was not convinced and returned home instead. The rest of us went for ‘just one beer’ at a local bar.
The following morning I over slept. I over slept quite badly. I had to phone someone at the office and ask them to let the rest of my department know I would be late. I phoned the person who had not gone for ‘just one drink’ with us. Considering I had called him a pansy the evening before this turned out to be a mistake. When I arrived at the office I discovered this email had been sent around the department:
“You could have just told them I over slept,” I told him after I read it.
“Did you really just over sleep?” He asked.
I paused for a second before replying, “Yes, I simply over slept.… because I forgot to set my alarm.… when I stumbled to bed.… after waking up on the couch.… because I spilt beer on myself.”
Law and Order is a very confusing show when you are inebriated.