Red faced, gasping for breath and trying not to collapse after finally catching up with my flat mate during my first evening jog in a long time I was barely able to wheeze out the words:

“Dam… I can’t… even keep up… with a thirty-three… year old smoker… with a bad… back.”

Yes, I have decided it is time to get back in shape again. It might take a little while but it seemed like a good idea to start the New Years resolution early.

If you see a red faced ginger Englishman in a jogging outfit face down on a Dutch street as he tries to recover from lung collapse you will know it is me. Wish me luck…. then call an ambulance.

34 responses to “Jogging”

  1. Jodie says:

    Watch out for patches of ice :D

  2. roxanne says:

    I went jogging today….and almost fell off the back of the treadmill. The rest of the time I couldn’t stop thinking about how embarrassing that would have been to actually fall off and possibly smack my face on the way down. Close call. I’ll make sure I call for an ambulance if I ever spot you. Will you be wearin that shirt and headband so I know it’s you?

  3. ellen says:

    I’ll revive you with doughnuts.

  4. Charlemagne Stavanger says:

    way to go stu ;)

  5. Tenakalaz says:

    Woohahaha, I am that smoking 33 year old with a bad back and on a course of valium, and 2 days ago, I had just put out a joint before going and he still came up red faced and wheezing 250 metres behind.

    You’ll get there stu and leave the wheezing old cripple behind, but not yet. But by then I will have finished my new mech legs and run like Forest Gump.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – They have given me trouble before… believe me.

    Roxanne – I’ve fallen off the treadmill before.

    Sadily I will be dressed differentially but maybe I should get a big 80s style headband

    Ellen – Evil :p

    Tenakalaz – You wont if I keep on sneaking into your room as you sleep and hitting you in the back with a sledge hammer.

  7. Tenakalaz says:

    Thats where them damn morning headaches are coming from.

    How do you like the horse shit in your bed ?

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Tenakalaz – Not much…

    Actually, why are we writing comments like this we are sitting 2 meters from each other.

  9. Tenakalaz says:

    Coz, I don’t like your voice, you sound liek Shirly Temple with a burnt tounge when you talk.

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    *Invader Stu blocks Tenakalaz’s I.P address*

  11. Tenakalaz says:

    Yeh, but I am using the power of weed and 30 mil of Diazemepam, Do I can over come any block.

  12. Tenakalaz says:

    do = so just so you know

  13. Invader_Stu says:

    I thought the Diazemepam had turned you into Yoda

  14. Tenakalaz says:

    bed I must go, sleepw I will. Diazempam, has released much drowsyness in me.

    Drowsyness, leads to lethargy, lethargy, leads sleepiness, and sleepiness leads to unconciousness.

  15. Invader_Stu says:

    Everyone – He just asked me why did he write, “Shirly Temple with a burnt tounge.” Yep the painkillers are working.

    If you could see us we have been in hysterics during the last few comments. It must look strange to everyone else :p

  16. Tenakalaz says:

    And you getting stuck in a lift, or breaking your ankle and wandering round as a zombie,w asn’t wierd enough.


    Other People……,

    This is getting baaaaad

  17. Jodie says:

    Hahahaha, have you guys not heard of messenger programs?

  18. vallyP says:

    Stu, hysterical laughter’s the grease that keeps our brains in order. Go for it!

    About running…well maybe you should run with me then we could make each other look good – you because I guarantee you can run faster than I can and still maintain a snail’s pace ;), and me because it would be good for my image of being the hip cool and trendy mother of Jodie to be seen scampering along with a nother hip cool and trendy twenty

  19. zoe says:

    oh christ, that’s the funniest comments box yet!

    diazepam – it’s the way to go.

  20. zoe says:

    don’t worry, i’ve been on diazepam before – great stuff. as for my back … i just got operated on (well, not recently, unless 2001 is recent) and weed makes me feel sick.

    red wine and bloody mary’s get me through life.

  21. flicka says:

    hahaha! i think you and i should propbably team up when it comes to jogging and we can wheeze together.

  22. Jodie says:

    Oh dear, Stu – well, take comfort in the fact that it can get worse… i.e. playing an MMORPG with Baz right next to me in the same room and still typing comments to each other in-game… and then telling each other to read the comments…

    Oh and dont be fooled by VallyP either… she maybe short but she’s a devil on the tarmac over 3km. I had to start running longer distances to have an excuse not be embarrased by her speed anymore :S

  23. Tenakalaz says:

    I feel I should explain, I am not some drugged up looney, but am on a course of diazepam for my back, which is quite bad.

    The weed is just because……

    The comments, I have no excuses for :)

  24. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – What makes it worse is we kept on say to each other, “Look again. I left another comment.”

    VallyP – I would not be so sure about being slow then me. You have not seen me run :p

    Tenakalaz – Don’t lie you drugged up loony :p

    zoe – Between the both of you you are turning my comment box into a den of booze and drugs :p

  25. ChickyBabe says:

    I’d dial an ambulance, but have…arthritis…in…fingers…

  26. JaG says:

    You’re forgiven! That was actually fun, reading your drunk comments! And I should get back into shape myself. I might join an all women gym, haven’t decided yet.

  27. vallyP says:

    good idea Stu! We caould call it Jog4Blog or something ho ho.

    By the way, don’t believe everything Jodie tells you. I may be Wonder Mum, but I’m not Supermum

  28. Invader_Stu says:

    Maybe we should all start a blog jogging team :p

  29. roxanne says:

    Count me in on the Jog-a-Blog….but only if I don’t have to divulge my time/mile. (oops you guys use that crazy metric system that I can never figure out)

    Loved your drunk comments. You must do that more often for your reader’s entertainment purposes.

  30. Rose says:

    What’s the number for 911? :)

  31. Invader_Stu says:

    JaG – I know there is one in Amsterdam down a shopping street near the V&D.

    vallyP – Maybe you will be after Jog4Blog :p

    roxanne – I get confused because the Dutch don’t use miles.

    Rose – Here it is 112

  32. Tenakalaz says:

    yeh but the Dutch being kind I believe 911 and 999 both work.

    Want anders zullen de engelse nooit geredden worden :)

  33. Invader_Stu says:

    Cures you bablefish and your not so good translation:

    Tenakalaz said: “Because differently the English never geredden will become.”

  34. Tenakalaz says:

    hehehehe, otherwise the english would never be saved :)

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