Wold of Warcraft – For The Hord


I have a confession to make. I have not been honest about who I am. I have hidden my true identity in a web of lies and secrets. The Stuart you might think you know is a work of fiction. I am really Sneed, mighty troll shaman, defender of Azeroth and champion of the Hord.

I have faced mighty foes such as Darkmaster Gandling, Hakah the Blood God and the bunny that decimated my vegetable patch last week. I am skilled in the arts of the sacred totems, the wielding of a staff weapon and touching my nose with the tip of my tongue. I fear nothing (accept the dark, the sight of blood, the alliance, thunder and the bunny that decimated my vegetable patch last week).

Not really but the rainy weekend gave me the perfect excuse to start playing World of Warcraft again, something that I had not done for a few months. When I logged on it was also raining in the virtual world of the game which seemed ironic and maybe defeated the purpose of staying indoors to avoid rain. However, where in Amsterdam would I be able to go questing before I found myself confined to a tiny jail cell and charged for running around the city with a big stick and screaming, “For the Hord”, as I ambushed tourists. It would not be long before I was then transferred to a mental asylum for claiming, “The goblin told me to do it,” as my defence. There are some activities which are best confined to the boundaries of a fantasy virtual world.

Playing a massively multiplayer online game can be a strange experience. Sometimes it is easy to forget that a player’s character is not an accurate representation of the player them self (they are not really Elves or Orcs). The reason some players might seem to have the maturity of a 12 year old is because they actually are 12 years old and most of the female characters in the game are probably male players who either go along with the flirting as a way to get free in-game items or because they are a little bit creepy.

During the summer I managed to go with out playing the game for a while but like most addictions I only thought I was over the habit. After just a few hours of playing I found myself hooked again, happily hunting through the land of Azeroth for quest items and evil monsters to slay (or run away from). I even managed to get one of my old characters up to level 60 (the highest level in the game).

I’ll probably be addicted to the game for a few more months (before I’m arrested in Amsterdam for confusing fantasy and reality) so if you see a cowardly troll named Sneed or a clumsy tauren called Oakhammer running around on the European Scarshield Legion server fell free to say hello. If I’m not running for my life from some scary angry creature I’ll stop to reply.

11 responses to “Wold of Warcraft – For The Hord”

  1. Nothing really matters says:

    I just started playing this game again i brought months ago! It’s strange how you do that!

  2. Stella says:

    Huhuhu, i really laugh reading your post. It describes so perfectly the addiction a game can create.
    But i have to confess that after reading the first 3 lines, i was thinking you abused from one of the dutch specificities (and i’m not talking about the tulips…)
    PS : excuse my english, i’m french…

  3. keith says:

    Greetings earthling! Fancy a game of Tiddlywinks online with a Grand Master sometime?

    from the rabbit that decimated your cabbage patch

  4. roxanne says:

    You are too funny!

    My immature 13-year-old likes to play Runescape. Although I don’t think he’s ever pretended to be a girl to get free stuff. ;)

  5. Invader_Stu says:

    Nothing really matters – I can start playing a game again years later sometimes.

    Stella – No drugs for me. It’s just my insane ramblings :)

    Keith – Alien rabbit?

    Roxanne – It would be even more worrying if he did given his age.

  6. Bonestorm says:

    Oh no, they got you too.

    Tauren Shaman, level 60 here. I gave up a year ago, came back for a month recently and now stopped for good.

    I hope.

  7. Jake says:

    Bah – you weak minded fool. If you wanted to spend 8 hours a day being insulted by 12 year olds you should have become a teacher – you’d get a reasonable wage for it.

    That said, you can’t split your pupil’s head open with an axe if they call you a w**ker.

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Bill – So you like to dress up as a girl online? :p

    Jake – Put the axe down Jake and step away from the students.

    Bonestorm – You turned your back on the Hord. How could you? (The Burning Crusade expansion will be out in a soon)

  9. Rose says:

    “The Stuart you might think you know is a work of fiction. I am really Sneed, mighty troll shaman, defender of Azeroth and champion of the Hord.” THat would explain a lot of things.

  10. ChickyBabe says:

    I like to confuse fantasy and reality… remind me not to visit Amsterdam!

  11. Invader_Stu says:

    Rose – My thin grip on reality? :p

    ChickyBabe – You like to play WoW too? :p

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