How (Not) To Pick Up Dutch Girls – Part 2

Pick Up Dutch Girls 2

It is nine years ago. I have only been in the Netherlands for two months. I am standing at the bar waiting to order drinks as the club’s music rings in my ears and my foot taps to its beat. My friends are somewhere on the dance floor.

I wait for the barman.

Suddenly the attractive young girl waiting next to me turns her attention in my direction. She smiles and flicks her hair. I smile back but don’t flick my hair since that would look silly (short hair plus being a man). She says something to me in Dutch which I do not understand. Never the less it sounds evocative. Using my English charm I reply with the kind of smooth romantic line that would make any girls heart melt.

“Sorry. I don’t speak Dutch. What did you say?”

Amazingly this line does not work. The smile fades to be replaced with a puzzled look which in itself only lasts about half a second before she picks up her drinks and leaves without another word.

I will never know if she was saying, “Your place or mine, handsome,” or, “Excuse me. You’re standing on my foot.”

16 responses to “How (Not) To Pick Up Dutch Girls – Part 2”

  1. Aledys Ver says:

    … or she was not too confident about her English? Or an English accent is a turn-off? :D Or actually, while you were saying your line, you lifted your own foot and her foot was finally free! :D

  2. It could have been the loud music, you know. Can “Sorry. I don’t speak Dutch. What did you say?” be mis-heard to be Dutch for “Would you like to see my hairy knuckles?” perhaps?

  3. Anita says:

    You got rid of an impolite girl.

  4. French Bean says:

    Hm. If you had been standing on her foot, I don’t think she would have been smiling.

    By the way, you’re giving me the impression that English charm is a bit awkward (at least in Holland). Had you been in the States, American girls would have clamored all around you.

  5. Jules says:

    Oh God, I hope we never meet–French Bean is right: American girls fall hard and fast for suave British men. At least, if you’re as cute as your icon ;-)

  6. Soon to be wife says:

    Oh yes he sure is! :D

  7. Invader Stu says:

    Aledys Ver – I think the last one is most likely in reality.

    Unexpected Traveller – How did you know I have white hairy knuckles?

    Anita – You could be right.

    French Bean, Jules, Soon to be wife – Ladies, ladies, ladies. There is enough Stuart to go around… (Yeah it’s a bad line and it even made me throw up a little in my mouth but I could not resist).

  8. Siebrie says:

    Maybe she was speaking English?

  9. Invader Stu says:

    Siebrie – That could have happened. In fact an English friend of mine has replied to a girl in the same way once when she was talking English to him.

  10. Soon to be Wife says:

    Yes… but I’m going to marry you “mister-plenty-enough-Stuart” ;P

  11. Heather says:

    The fact that she was able to walk off with her drinks and you didn’t notice any indication of a limp, most likely means that you weren’t standing on her foot. Therefore, I feel it is only right for you to assume she was saying “Your place or mine, handsome,” and then got so overwhelmed by your charming English accent that the only thing she could do was run off in shock. :)

  12. Invader Stu says:

    Soon to be Wife – Then the question is can you handle all of that (ok, I have to stop with the bad cheesy lines. It’s a wonder I am getting married with smooth lines like that).

    Heather – Very Sherlock Holmes deduction of you. I think you are right. There is no arguing with the facts.

  13. Ramona says:

    My god, girls in Holland are anything but polite. Hmmm. I wonder how men are …

  14. Invader Stu says:

    Ramona – Single if they act like that towards there own men

  15. Just a Plane Ride Away says:

    Maybe she said you had a bit of spinach stuck between your teeth?

  16. Invader Stu says:

    Oh damn. It could still have been there all this time but I never knew because I did not understand her

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