Lies About The Dutch – Part 1
1) Everyone in Holland is 6’5 tall. Any Dutch person who has not reached this height by their 21st birthday is exiled to Belgium.
2) Due to a series of escalating over exaggerated tourists stories visitors to Amsterdam are often disappointed to discover that the red light district is in fact just an area with a lot of faulty traffic lights.
3) Dutch music was first invented during World War II as a means of ‘interrogating’ German spies. However, when the human rights movement put a stop to this practise another use had to be found for it. Incidentally this is why you will never find a German at a Frans Bauer concert.
4) Frans Bauer and Jack Bauer are related.
5) The Dutch government is very concerned about the over harvesting of wind by the county’s many windmills. They foresee a real danger that this resource will run out in the next 5 years. This is not helped by the fact that all Dutch people live in windmills.
6) The Dutch phrase ‘ja hoor’ has coursed several diplomatic incidents when English speaking diplomats have mistaken it for the Dutch diplomats calling them names (sometimes they were).
7) A lot of Dutch land has been reclaimed from the sea by pumping out the water and building fake land. This has proved very successful. However, at high tide the water still comes up to everyone’s ankles.
8) Holland is so flat that someone in Friesland can wave to someone in Belgium. The Dutch are deadly jealous of any country with the smallest of mountains, hills or speed bumps.
9) Even Dutch people giggle every time someone starts talking about the water ‘dykes’
10) The wide popularity and use of bicycles in Holland can be directly linked to the song ‘Bicycle Race’ by Queen when it became a smash hit in 1978. Bicycle sales jumped by 89% and, “I want to ride my bicycle. I want to ride it where I like,” became a national slogan.
Want to read more lies about the Dutch? Check out Part 2 of this list.