Lies About The Dutch – Part 3
1) There are two types of Dutch people. Those who wear clogs and those who don’t. They have a bitter rivalry.
2) Queen’s Day is the celebration of the life and work of 80’s singer Freddy Mercury and his fellow band members. The whole country joins together in singing such classic songs as; Bohemian Rhapsody, Don’t Stop Me Now, Fat Bottom Girls and I Want To Ride My Bicycle. We miss you Freddy.
3) In order to comply with Dutch coffee shop regulations Star Bucks is legally obliged to sell you weed if you ask for it.
4) The wearing of orange during important Dutch celebrations is to ward off evil spirits who are afraid of the colour. No one likes to talk about the mass disappearances of people who were foolhardy enough to forgo wear the protective colour during Queen’s Day or the European/World Cup.
5) Dutch mayonnaise is people.
6) Belgium is just a part of Holland the Dutch did not want any more.
7) The story of the little Dutch boy who put his finger in a leaking dyke to save his village is true. Sadly they were unable to repair the dyke and he is still there today. Although now he is referred to as the OAP with his finger in the dyke.
8) Elvis is alive and working at a Febo in Amsterdam.
9) Due to the sheer amount of weed present in Holland the entire country is constantly stoned from passive smoke.
10) The Dutch are deeply afraid of heights. Luckily their country is completely flat so this uncontrollable fear has never caused any problems.
11) No matter where you go in the world you will always bump into a Dutch family on Holiday. Neil Armstrong even encountered a Dutch family (Mr & Mrs Van De Leeuwen and their two children, Jan and Frits of Breda) upon arriving on the moon. However, NASA still dense this ever happened.
Want to read more lies about the Dutch? Check out Part 4 of this list.