Dreadfully Dutch Fake Facts – Part 3
1) There are two types of Dutch people. Those who wear clogs and those who don’t. They have a bitter rivalry.
2) Queen’s Day is the celebration of the life and work of 80’s singer Freddy Mercury and his fellow band members. The whole country joins together in singing such classic songs as; Bohemian Rhapsody, Don’t Stop Me Now, Fat Bottomed Girls and I Want To Ride My Bicycle. We miss you Freddy.
3) In order to comply with Dutch coffee shop regulations Star Bucks is legally obliged to sell you weed if you ask for it.
4) The wearing of orange during important Dutch celebrations is to ward off evil spirits who are afraid of the colour. No one likes to talk about the mass disappearances of people who were foolhardy enough to forgo wearing the protective colour during Queen’s Day or the European/World Cup.
5) Dutch mayonnaise is people.
6) Belgium is just a part of Holland the Dutch did not want any more.
7) The story of the little Dutch boy who put his finger in a leaking dyke to save his village is true. Sadly they were unable to repair the dyke and he is still there today. Although now he is referred to as the OAP with his finger in the dyke.
8) Elvis is alive and working at a Febo in Amsterdam.
9) Due to the sheer amount of weed present in Holland the entire country is constantly stoned from passive smoke.
10) The Dutch are deeply afraid of heights. Luckily their country is completely flat so this uncontrollable fear has never caused any problems.
11) No matter where you go in the world you will always bump into a Dutch family on Holiday. Neil Armstrong even encountered a Dutch family (Mr & Mrs Van De Leeuwen and their two children, Jan and Frits of Breda) upon arriving on the moon. However, Nasa still denies this ever happened.
Want to read more Dreadfully Dutch Fake Facts? Check out Part 4 of this list.
#DreadfullyDutchFakeFacts
I can’t believe it – I met the Van de Leeuwen family last year at a campsite just south of Maastricht. They said they knew Neil Armstrong but I thought they were exaggerating. Tell me, do they have a 1970s trailer tent in brown and (of course) orange?
Unexpected Traveller – Good point. It was very foolish of them to leave all that stuff behind.
Terri – It would make it very Dutch.
Osita – That’s them. It really is a small world after all (with a lot of Dutch in it).
Its amazing how many people thought of Soylent green. It was my first thought. Did I actually see a cult film all those years ago?
The Soylent Green reference was too much. XD
…Does that mean tea is made from Brits???
i just returned from a 10-day vacation in california, utah, and arizona. and, i kid you not, we met dutch people at every single place we stopped. we dutch do love our nature.
to be fair, we heard many more germans.
In my early days , I always wondered if Orange is like royal families favorite colour or some weird Dutch witch or mage from 16th century told the royal family that they can sell more weed or attract more people in the village market if they dressed up in orange.
Well your blog grew by one more reader over the weekend , probably to be added to new weird obsessive readers list. Read all your posts over in single weekend :)
Dragonlady – I guess so.
Barb the French Bean – You didn’t already know that? :p
Allison – The German’s were not on the moon though so the Dutch still win :p
Shamin – Nice to meet you.