Things To Do During A Dutch Heat Wave

Dutch Heat Wave

Every Dutch summer is the same. At first it seems like there will be no summer at all. The weather is terrible. It rains. It’s cold. It’s cloudy. It rains some more. Then suddenly the entire country is hit by an intense heat wave as if summer suddenly realized it was late and is desperately trying to make up for lost time.

Such extreme heat can make it difficult to think sometimes. It is simply too hot. That is why I have written a handy list of things you can do when the next Dutch heat wave hits. This year’s heat wave might have already passed (or has it) but it is important to prepare for the next year.

Things To Do During A Dutch Heat Wave

1) Place bets on what colour code weather warning the day will end with.

2) Try to separate your melted together hagelslag (which has probably infused to form one giant deformed hagelslag).

3) Try to understand why sunny weather can cause such massive delays on the trains.

4) Set up a fan near an open window until you realize it’s essentially the same as setting up a window mounted hair dryer.

5) Jump in a canal to cool down and then realize it was a really bad idea when you unintentionally taste some of the water.

6) Hope that the extreme summer means an extreme winter and Elfstedentocht.

7) Spend more time in the Albert Heijn (simply because they have air conditioning).

8) Cycle with your elbows raised in the air in the hope of creating some kind of arm pit ventilation/breeze (less confident cyclists may wish to do this by alternating arms).

9) Enjoy an extended ‘rokjesdag’ or (for the ladies) the often hit or miss ‘geen overhemd/korte-broek-dag’.

10) Start a barbecue and then realize that being within 50 meters of it is like venturing into Mount Doom (This is probably why the majority of Dutch barbecues happen in 15 degrees cloudy weather).

11) Drink a summer beer (before it evaporates).

7 responses to “Things To Do During A Dutch Heat Wave”

  1. #3: The sun has started to melt the rails, thus preventing safe travelling across the country. Also, after interviewing some of the conductors, it seems that the heat has affected their brains and has resulted in them in having a more lax, French-like attitude to, y’know, punctuality.

    #6: Fingers crossed!

    #7: They need it lest the hagelslag gets stuck together.

    #10: It would be a good point to warn Frodo before inviting him to attend a Dutch summer barbecue. He might end up getting Mount Doom PTSD flashbacks and attempt to hurl the sausages and burgers to destroy them.

  2. Stultum says:

    9) I think you could get away with wearing a skirt, Stu. Most Dutch don’t know the difference between an Englishman and a Scot anyway ;)

  3. Gez says:

    Number 6. Definitely number 6

  4. henk says:

    don’t forget that you have to talk about it all the time. first you talk about the upcoming heat wave, and during the heat wave you have to mention how hot it is, all the time, to every person you meet.

    some people like to talk about how ”everyone always wants nice weather, and now it finally is nice weather, and now the people complain that it is too hot”

    very important tradition

  5. dragonlady says:

    Sorry living in England we do not want Elfstedentocht (if that means when the canals freeze and you go ice skating.) Unlike Holland our lives come to a complete standstill with the wrong kind of snow etc. Mind you in this current heatwave our trains have been complaining of “the wrong kind of heat” Says it all really.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Take a car with a arco and drive around and around and singing the wheels of the car go round and round, all day long.

    greets from Ger

  7. Kevin says:

    How hot is a heat wave in the Netherlands anyway?

    I find what people in typically-cold climates categorize as a heat wave is a normal summertime temperature in warmer-weather places, so I’m curious what a heat wave in the Netherlands is like.

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