“Cabin crew to landing positions please. Cabin crew to landing positions.”
I sit up suddenly, snapped out of my day dreaming by the unexpected announcement. What? Landing? How can we be landing now?
“Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. We will shortly be arriving at Rotterdam central.”
Rotterdam? I don’t even know if Rotterdam has an airport? How can we be landing there? What is going on?
“The local time is 11:16pm. Weather conditions are good with a temperature of -2.”
I am deeply confused, not because we are making a sudden and un-expected landing but because we are making any kind of landing at all, because I am sitting on a train, a normal, regular train that does not have wings and is not capable of flight (as far as I know it).
“We hope you have enjoyed your flight with the Dutch railway service and we hope to see you again soon.”
Maybe the train driver is having a nervous breakdown…
“Dames en heren. Excuuses voor mijn alter-ego, de Engelse Kapitein. De volgende stop is Rotterdam Centraal.”
…or has a split personality.
Translation = “Ladies and gentlemen. I apologise for my alter ego the English captain. Next stop is Rotterdam central.”