Everybody loves cake, even the Dutch. Maybe this explains why they combined it with one of the other things they are famous for (and I’m not talking about cheese, tulips or an open view towards sexuality). The resulting combination is the kind of cake that would be ill advised to serve at any children’s birthday party unless you wanted to keep the normally hyperactive mini humans very quiet and docile for the whole day. It is the kind of cake that can be purchased in Dutch coffee shops where (despite the misleading name) coffee is not actually the main product they sell. I’m talking about cannabis cake, otherwise known as space cake.
I have tried space cake myself once before when a friend wanted test subjects for his baking. I found the main side effect of space cake to be an uncontrollable ability to giggle at anything and everything but with one bad side effect. It made me recommend a very dull movie to a few friends as the most hilarious thing I had ever seen (upon my second ‘space cake free’ viewing I realized my mistake).
The Control Group
Last weekend, I had my second experience with space cake with a group of friends. This gave me the opportunity to study the side effects of space cake more closely and see what it does to different people. Between us we ran the full spectrum of test subjects that you would want in such a scientific study. We had a veteran smoker who smoked cannabis every day to keep his mood level. We had an experienced smoker who had smoked a lot of week but never Dutch weed. Then we had the two control subjects. Myself and another newbie smoker who could both count the amount of times they had smoked weed on one hand. We were all sitting outside a café in Amsterdam when the idea of trying weed cake was brought up. Unable to turn down a chocolate cake (even one with weed in it) I joined in. After all I knew it would only make me a bit giggly.
Space Cake Side Effects
An hour after the consumption of our space cake based cannabis the side effects started to present themselves. The other newbie smoker started having uncontrollable giggling fits. Even the simple act of walking seemed to be enough to produce high levels of mirth. He’d get his laughing under control but the moment he took another step he would burst into side splitting laughter again. The experienced smoker on the other hand surprisingly got very paranoid. Our efforts to calm him down were no use as he had become convinced it was an attempt at hypnotising him for our own diabolical ends. The veteran smoker seemed completely unaffected but did have a sudden and strange interest in McDonalds. I myself was feeling quite aright as well despite having eaten as much space cake as everyone else. My head was a little light and my footsteps felt a little springy but I was able to keep it together and enjoy it.
A big part of how the space cake affected us seemed to be based on our own attitudes upon entering the experience. Even though the experienced smoker had smoked a lot of weed he was nervous about trying Dutch weed for the first time. He went in worried that something bad would happen and it did. The other newbie smoker who you would expect to have the bad experience didn’t because he took part expecting to have a good time. He went in without fear and was able to enjoy how it affected him. It was not surprising at all that our veteran smoker hardly seemed effected at all since weed is a part of his everyday life. His body (and maybe more importantly; his mind) is the most used to its effects.
And as for me, I simply felt little effect because… the full side effects were not going to hit me until later.
My Personal Trip
The veteran smoker (who was also my house mate) and myself returned the experienced and other newbie smoker to their hotel and then set off home ourselves. I was quite pleased with myself and the way I had managed to stay level headed and in control during the whole experience.
I was telling the veteran smoker this when suddenly I started forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence. My communication skills had suddenly put on the emergency break as the words that would have formed the rest of my sentence went into hiding. The sudden and desperate need for a dictionary was not the only oddity. I had also completely forgotten the subject I was talking about.
It’s worth mentioning that I was still not worried at any time during this experience because I understood why it was happening. This is a good thing because later on (once we had returned home) I managed to completely forget where I was for a few seconds. If my brain had not decided to take a sudden vacation at that moment I might have been able to piece together the subtle clues that would have told me my location. Clue number one; I was sitting on my sofa. My sofa is in my front room. My front room is in my house, in Holland, on planet Earth. I should not have needed a global positioning device to work that one out.
I slowly started putting the clues together myself. I realized I was sitting on a sofa. It was only a small victory of spatial awareness and memory recall however. Unfortunately my confused brain took a leap at the answer before it had taken in the rest of the surroundings. For a split second I actually thought I was sitting on my parents sofa. It just so happens that my parent’s sofa is not in my house. My parents couch is in their house which happens to be in the UK, across the sea. However, this fact did not stop me being concerned for a moment about what they might say when they realized I was stoned. A second later everything came back into focus and I realize I did not have to worry because they would never know (until they read this that is).
A little while later I got the munchies and found a new deep and spiritual meaning behind the movie Twister before going to bed. I had a very confusing moment when I was woken up by my flat mate’s cat who I thought was trying to communicate with me. I think it’s safe to say the space cake turned out to be a lot stronger than even I thought it would be.
I didn’t have another encounter with cannabis until a few years later when a weed plantation was discovered in my apartment building (which caused a few of my neighbours to get unintentionally stoned).