When approached by a drug dealer in the streets of Amsterdam there are certain services you expect him to offer, that being the service of a drug dealer who provides questionable substances such as cocaine, ecstasy and various other things on the police’s no-no list. So I was taken a little by surprise when a drug dealer approached me in the street and offered me Viagra.
There were three things that made this strange. (1) He was offering Viagra. (2) He was offering it while I was in the company of a male friend. (3) He was possibly suggesting that if we were so inclined we did not find each other attractive and needed some help in the bedroom.
The possible attack on my sexuality or my ability to ‘get it up’ aside I wondered what other marital aids he had on offer. “Some aspirin for when she has a headache, sir?” or maybe “How about some candles and some Barry White music to set the mood, sir?”
Did he offer birth control too? “I can see you are a sophisticated gentlemen sir so may I suggest ribbed? For her pleasure, sir.”
How far would his services go? Did he give relationship advice too? “The thing you have to remember sir, is never forget to say ‘I love you’, even for the smallest things.”
Maybe he even did street marital counselling sessions? “Debby, please tell Andrew why you are upset with him and then let’s discuss those feelings.”
Or did he offer other things that were legal and easy to get hold of? Could I buy paracetamol from him?
Or maybe my imagination was just running away with itself again.
“No thank you,” I replied.
“Maybe later,” My friend said with a wink.
(For more stories about bizarre encounters with drug dealers check out: Encounter With A Polite Drug Dealer)