Everybody loves cake, even the Dutch. Maybe this explains why they combined it with one of the other things they are famous for (and I’m not talking about cheese, tulips or an open view towards sexuality). The resulting combination is the kind of cake that would be ill advised to serve at a children’s birthday party unless you wanted to keep the normally hyperactive mini humans very quite and docile for the whole day. It is in fact the kind of cake that can be purchased in Dutch coffee shops where (despite the misleading name) coffee is not actually the main product they sell. I’m talking about cannabis cake, other wise known as space cake.
I had tried space cake myself once before when a friend wanted test subjects for his baking (I don’t think he was following a Jamie Oliver recipe). I found main side effect of space cake to be an uncontrollable ability to giggle at anything and everything but with one bad side effect. It made me recommend a very dull movie to a few friends as the most hilarious thing I had ever seen (upon my second ‘space cake free’ viewing I realized my mistake).
Last weekend, while sitting out side an Amsterdam café with a group of visitors, the idea of trying space cake was raised again. Although I had turned down the previous offer of a smoke I said yes to the idea of space cake after some thought. Using cannabis is something I have done very rarely (I can count the amount of times on one hand) and the decision to do so usually involves a few drinks but how could I turn down a chocolate cake (even a chocolate space cake). After all it would only make me a bit giggly.
To protect the identities of the other members in the group I will simply call them; Veteran Smoker, Experienced Smoker and Newbie Smoker. An hour after the consumption of our space cake based cannabis the effects started to present themselves. Newbie Smoker started having uncontrollable giggling fits. Even the simple act of walking seemed to be enough to produce high levels of mirth. Experienced Smoker on the other hand started to get paranoid that our efforts to calm him down were an attempt at hypnotising him for our own diabolical ends. Veteran smoker seemed unaffected but had a sudden and strange interest in McDonalds. I myself was feeling quite aright as well despite having eaten as much space cake as everyone else. My head was a little light but I was able to keep it together.
Veteran Smoker and myself returned Experienced and Newbie Smoker to their hotel and then set off home ourselves. I was quite pleased with myself and the way I had managed to stay level headed and in control during the whole experience.
At least I was until I started to forget what I was saying mid-sentence. My communication skills had suddenly put on the emergency break as the words that would have formed the rest of my sentence went into hiding. The sudden and desperate need for a dictionary was not the only oddity. I had also completely forgotten the subject I was talking about. The fact that we were sitting on a train and the subject was also about trains did not seem to help my temporary amnesia.
It’s worth mentioning that I was not worried at any time during this experience because I understood why it was happening. This is a good thing because at one point I completely forgot where I was for a few seconds. If my brain had not decided to take a sudden vacation at that moment I might have been able to peace together the subtle clues that would have told me my location. Clue number one; I was sitting on my sofa. My sofa, as if by coincidence, happens to be in my front room, in my house, in Holland, on planet Earth. I should not have needed a global positioning device to work that one out.
When my brain decided to return I was able to start putting the clues together. I realized I was sitting on a sofa. It’s was only a small victory of spacial awareness and memory recall but it was a start. Unfortunately my brain must have still been in holiday mode because it took leap at the answer before it had taken in the rest of the surroundings. For a split second I actually thought I was sitting on my parents couch. It just so happens that my parents couch is not in my house. My parents couch is in their house which happens to be in the UK, across the sea, on planet earth. However, this fact did not stop me being concerned for a moment about what they might say when they realized I was not feeling myself. A second later everything came back into focus and I realize I did not have to worry because they would never know (until they read this that is).
A little while later I got the munchies and found a new deep and spiritual meaning behind the movie Twister before going to bed only to have a very confusing moment when I was woken up by my flat mate’s cat which I thought was trying to communicate with me. I think it’s safe to say the space cake turned out to be a lot stronger then I thought it would be.
I didn’t have another encounter with cannabis until a few years later when a weed plantation was discovered in my apartment building which caused a few of my neighbours to get unintentionally stoned.