Mop Attack

Mop Attack

Have you ever done something on an impulse and never thought about the repercussions until it is too late? On Thursday I did just that. On Thursday I bought a mop.

I know this hardly sounds like earth shattering news. In fact it probably sounds like the only possible repercussion of buying a mop is that I would have to mop something such as a floor. However, while I was standing in Blokker and handing over 15 euros for the new floor cleaning device I forgot to take into account that I cycle to work from the train station. I remembered this fact later when I was standing outside my office, looking at my two wheeled transport with fresh new mop in one hand and bike keys in the other at the end of the day.

This provided a unique challenge. A unique challenge for me anyway since I am English and don’t have the super human like Dutch ability to carry anything and everything with me as I cycle. I thought about it for a moment and decided I was going to give it a go anyway.

What followed was what I can only describe as a jousting charge through the streets of Amsterdam which made me feel like shouting out loud, “Cycle men! Cycle casually into battle! Cycllleeeeeee!,” as I led the imaginary charge of my imaginary army.


Mop Attack Street
The streets of Amsterdam are no longer safe.

Tourists jumped out of the way for fear of a drive by buffing, cats hissed at me as I passed and speed bumps presented an interesting balancing challenge which almost made me crash twice. I still had to stop from trams though since I doubted they would be intimidated by my mop.


Mop Attack Tram
Can’t challenge a tram…


Mop Attack Cyclist
…but that cyclist is going to get it!

Despite all these obstacles I made it successfully to central station and locked my mighty steed into the bike racks. I tried to do a cool victory spin with the mop and almost smacked myself in the face. After making sure no one had noticed I made my way to the train with mop in hand.

During the train journey I must have looked like a lazy NS cleaner ignoring his responsibilities.

15 responses to “Mop Attack”

  1. Ashley Moore says:

    The photos look like screenshots from a FPS. Grand Theft Bicycle: Amsterdam

  2. Invader Stu says:

    That would be such a cool game :D I might have to pitch it :p

  3. Aisling says:

    OMG YOU’RE BACK! (Sorry, I just started school so YES I am noticing everything 7 days later than normal.)

    I LOVE the mop bike pics. And I think you could’ve DEFINITELY challenged that tram. :P

  4. Amanda Blog and Kiss says:

    That had me lol’ing. Glad to have you back!!

  5. Vintage Veta says:

    The pictures make it that much more hilarious, I laughed aloud for about 5 min straight.

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Aisling: Next time… next time that tram will be mine

    Amanda Blog and Kiss: Thank you and it’s nice to read your blog too :)

    Vintage Veta: I got a lot of strange looks cycling with my camera :p

  7. Wendi says:

    I would have liked to see the victory mop spin. Too cool

  8. Invader Stu says:

    You can expect to see me one day on fail blog after having tried it again :p

  9. john says:

    hey! thanks for the comments

    i recently read about your registration.. umm… mishap/confusion/thing? funny- and super dutch to just say— ‘um. ok. well then lets get uou started.’ priceless :)

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    Thank god the Dutch are like that :)

  11. Lily says:

    How many tourists snapped a picture of you cycling and wielding a mop? :-)

  12. Anita says:

    Humm. Let me see if I got it well: while buying a mop you actually FORGOT that you should cycle back to the train station later on that day. Well, good excuse to practise your skills while riding a bike. Mop in one hand, camera in another… You are definitely integrated.

  13. Invader Stu says:

    Lily: I’m still waiting to show up on the Dutch version of crime watch

    Anita: I forget things like that a lot :p

  14. Dave Hampton says:

    Wow, you’re back: you’ve been misssed! ‘great stories and pictures as always (my favorite is still your stalking of Sinterklaas), it’s good to be reading your again!

  15. The Captain says:

    Nice to see you back.

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