30 Apr

 Funny Quote

The following conversation took place during a drive back from London, after passing through a street with a great many speed bumps (something that England is famous for):

My mother
(From the back seat)
“Do you have speed bumps in Holland?”

My Dutch Wife
(From the passenger seat)
“Yes. Since we don’t have hills we need speed bumps, otherwise the country really would be completely flat.”

15 Apr

Do you realize I’ve been living in Holland for almost ten years?

(With a grin on her face)
Oh? In that case we should start talking Dutch all the time.

(Looking slightly worried)
Err… Let’s not rush into any rash decisions.

15 Jan

Thursday morning at the office started with an email from the HR department:

To: All
Subject: Mikka is dead…
His body is in the HR office for anyone who would like to say good bye.

The news that one of my co-workers had died came as a bit of a shock but not as shocking as the fact that the email seemed to be suggesting that his body had been laid out on an office desk for everyone see. Where his grieving parents also going to swing by the office? Were they going to bury him in the back garden?

A short while later another email was sent all:

To: All
Subject: RE: Mikka is dead…
Mikka is the office cat, not a human.

Something tells me I was not the only one who got confused.

20 Dec

Overheard on the 7:30am train from Rotterdam to Amsterdam on a snowy December Monday morning.

NS Train Conductor
(Talking in to her radio)
“I think we ran over something. Did you feel it?”

NS Train Driver
(On the other end of the radio)
“Na. That was just the track.”

2 Oct

The following takes place between 10:45 and 10:55 at a party during a discussion about West End stage shows in London between my girlfriend and a friend of ours. The original conversation took part in Dutch but has been translated into English (which is ironic given the opening statement). The names of those involved have been changed to protect the innocent.

My girlfriend
“It’s great to see a show in the original English rather than translated into Dutch with stupid Dutch songs.”

“I agree. I think it was in the 70s that I went on a school trip to see a West End Show in London. It was Jesus Christ Superstar and now that I come to think of it; it must have been the original cast back then.”

My girlfriend
“Oh really? So Jesus was actually in it as well? ”
*Big smirk*