“Ugh. I just can’t seem to speak right English today.”
“You seem to be doing fine to me.”
“You’re just say that. English is easy for you since it’s your first language.”
“Yeah but just because I’m English does not mean I’m good at speaking it.”
“But you should at least be better at speaking English than you can Dutch.”
“Not necessarily. English or Dutch. I’ll freely mess up both. I don’t limit my linguistic errors to just one language.”
The following conversation took place during a drive back from London, after passing through a street with a great many speed bumps (something that England is famous for):
(From the back seat)
“Do you have speed bumps in Holland?”
My Dutch Wife
(From the passenger seat)
“Yes. Since we don’t have hills we need speed bumps, otherwise the country really would be completely flat.”
Do you realize I’ve been living in Holland for almost ten years?WIFE
(With a grin on her face)
Oh? In that case we should start talking Dutch all the time.ME
(Looking slightly worried)
Err… Let’s not rush into any rash decisions.
Thursday morning at the office started with an email from the HR department:
Subject: Mikka is dead…
His body is in the HR office for anyone who would like to say good bye.
The news that one of my co-workers had died came as a bit of a shock but not as shocking as the fact that the email seemed to be suggesting that his body had been laid out on an office desk for everyone see. Where his grieving parents also going to swing by the office? Were they going to bury him in the back garden?
A short while later another email was sent all:
Subject: RE: Mikka is dead…
Mikka is the office cat, not a human.
Something tells me I was not the only one who got confused.
Overheard on the 7:30am train from Rotterdam to Amsterdam on a snowy December Monday morning.NS Train Conductor
(Talking in to her radio)
“I think we ran over something. Did you feel it?”NS Train Driver
(On the other end of the radio)
“Na. That was just the track.”