When Mosquito Attack – The Final Showdown

Mosquito final Showdown

“Come on then! I’m right here!”

I’d seen this work in action movies.

“What are you waiting for?! Come and get me!”

It’s always the climatic part of the movie. It’s the tipping point where the hero is un-able to take it anymore. He is tired, he is angry, he is beaten and bruised and he is calling the villain out for the final show down. It’s the battle that he knows he won’t walk away from but he has reached that point where he does not care anymore. He is determined to give it his all and that one way or another… it ends.

And here I was, having my heroic moment.

“Tonight we end this once and for all!”

I had reached my tipping point.

“Right here! Right now!”

I was not going to allow this anarchy and injustice to continue.

“What are you afraid of?! I’m right here!”

I was making a stand. I was calling out my tormentor, my enemy, my nemesis. I was calling out a mosquito!

“Come on you coward! FACE ME!”

I was sleepy, I was mildly irritated and I was itchy. It was a heroic image indeed. A heroic image of me standing on the end of the bed in my boxer shorts holding a novelty fly swatter shaped like a hand. Arnold Schwarzenegger eat your heart out.

Strangely the mosquito was not riled by my smack talk. There was no attack. There was no final show down where I could use my enemies anger against them. No. She was far too clever an opponent for that (only female mosquitoes suck blood). She was devious. She watched. She waited and in the morning I discovered fresh bites for my defiance.

I. hate. mosquitoes.

15 responses to “When Mosquito Attack – The Final Showdown”

  1. Koen Havik says:

    haha They do tend to hide. I personaly don’t mind the bites. But I hate the sound they make and the fact that they always seem to land on my ears… Two nights ago my (pregnant) wife woke up with a big shock in the middle of the night, due to my frustrated, angry, loud bang at te wall to kill one of those @$%^# mosquitoes. Ofcourse I missed, I knew that because two second after the poorly aimed bang the mosquito whispered in my ear: “bzzyouzz mizzzzed me zzzzz”. ARGGGGG

  2. Johannes says:

    I can so understand you. Be prepared for tonight though because you only met the house-and-garden mosquitoes so far. In the park we have the exiles, the outcasts, the die-hard-and-slow-while-sucking-blood-mosquito-inmates of the whole buzzing community. Bring Autan and a blanket or sleeping bag to keep you and your wive warm. (It can get very cold, and I mean VERY!) Look out for the old druid with the beard, that would be me :D
    I hope to see you afterwards for a beer. Enjoy the performance.

  3. Invader_Stu says:

    Koen Havik – Oh yes. The buzzing is much worse then the bites (although I don’t really like the bites either). I think they do it on purpose to torment us.

    Johannes – Unfortunately I won’t be there myself (or maybe fortunately by the sound of the hard as nails mosquitoes you have there), just my wife is going with a few friends. But I will tell her to look out for the druid.

  4. Likeahike says:

    Very brave of you to test your agility with a fly swatter in the middle of the night. I just spray the entire room with toxin! But I do have an accomplice, one of my cats likes to eat flies that venture near us, and she sleeps right next to me. ;-)

  5. Lady in Red says:

    Such a heroic moment! My heart was all aflutter, my heart raced and my breathing quickened as the valiant Stu faced the unimaginable! I do like happy endings – so even though the evil one got in a few more bites – I’m happy that our hero is still around to tell us about it ;-)

  6. Alison says:

    We bought one of those hand-shaped flyswatters this week, although with the intent to kill the actual flies. They’re my nemesis, with their own annoying buzzing. I’ve had no luck killing any yet, but I did get to use the swatter as a tool for petting a cat that was just out of reach. :)

  7. Shamin says:

    You have no idea stu, I am from a tropical country and there we have mosquitos. They tend be very familiy oriented and attack as you as family or invade as an army lift you out of the bed and bleed you dry. try those funny mosquito repellant iphone apps. i did try them during my visit back home didnt work though :)

  8. VallyP says:

    Me. too. Stu. Sympathies! Buy a ceiling fan, tho. It works! They get caught on the thermals and can’t get near you. Yay!

  9. Invader_Stu says:

    Likeahike – Ah-ha :) Another excuse I can us for why we need a cat :p

    Lady in Red – My wife swooned as well… although here swooning sounded suspiciously like she was saying ‘That won’t work’

    Alison – I bet the cat will get very nervous about ‘petting’ the next time it sees you take a swing at a fly with it :p

    Shamin – There are anti-mosquito iphone apps?! Crazy. And you’re right. Those mosquitoes do sound a lot more scary.

    VallyP – I used to do that. I find it hard to sleep with but at this rate I might have to give it a go.

  10. Nat says:

    Night after night I find myself scaring moths out of the lamp shade and smash them with a book – because I know, I KNOW they will land in my face as soon as I turn the light off. I feel your pain. I really do.

    Nat – who refuses to close the window when it is warm outside

  11. I sympathize.

    Yesterday, my right arm was eaten by three mosquitoes attacking in a blitzkrieg formation. Those beeyotches (for, lo, they are females, but not dogs) could certainly teach the Air Force a thing or two on stealth battles…

  12. Valentina Miranda says:

    I have recently moved from Streatham to Italy. I can’t be heroic. There are like 300 enemies and it’s 40 degrees Celsius.

  13. Invader Stu says:

    Nat – I refuse to close the window to. Keep up the good fight Nat.

    Barb the French Bean – If they ever mobilizes as one the human race is truly screwed.

    Valentina Miranda – Yikes. Those are scary odds.

  14. Gez says:

    The best thing you can try is getting bug screens on your windows. We have them, and they work a treat. You might still get the odd one or two managing to sneak in as you go through the front door, but I no longer fear sleep on a muggy summer’s day!

  15. dragon lady says:

    How about a mosquito net.

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