Stalked by a Spider

Stalked by a Spider

The following takes place between 9:30am and 6:30pm on January 31st 2008 in the games studio in Amsterdam where I work. All the facts are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent:

9:30 am – I arrive at work for another busy day of browsing the internet for amusing photos of cats with funny captions.

9:53 am – I notice a small spider sitting on the ceiling, deifying gravity with his eight little hairy spider legs. We exchange glances.

10:34 am – I look up again and see that the spider has not moved at all, not even a micro of a millimetre. We exchange more glances. He wins the staring contest with his superior eight spider eyes over my ordinary two human eyes.

10:55 am – The spider still has not moved. I decide to call him Timmy. I do not know if his intentions are friendly or hostile yet.

11:24 am – I notice Timmy lowing himself down from the ceiling towards my desk. I wonder if I am about to find out if he just wants a friendly chat or if he is about to cocoon me to my chair.

11:25 am – I lose sight of Timmy.

1:35 pm – Timmy dashes across one of my computer speakers and disappears again.

1:48 pm – Timmy suddenly appears running up the left side of my monitor. He continues to do a lap by running along the top, down the right side, along the bottom (getting cocky with gravity again) before stopping for a rest to catch his breath and disappearing around the back.

2:10 pm – During a conversation with a co-worker Timmy reappears on my desk and runs around for a bit. My co-worker and I stop mid-conversation to watch Timmy for five minutes as he frantically explores the desk. We are easily amused. Eventually Timmy goes back into hiding.

3:12 pm – Timmy suddenly appears crawling over my keyboard. I stop typing and observe his possible attempt to write an email. Eventually he gives up and leaves to explore new areas.

3:28 pm – Timmy climbs up onto the game pad that is sitting on my desk. It occurs to me that he either wants to play the game I am working on or he is secretly a spy from a rival games company. He seems unimpressed either way and leaves again.

3:30 pm – Timmy runs along the edge of my desk forcing me to raise my arms so he can pass. He stops near by. I return to my typing and look back a second later to see he has disappeared. I worry that I either just squashed him or the suspected cocooning is about to start.

3:32 pm – Timmy suddenly reappears on the other side of my desk crawling over my headphones. I decide it will be a while before I wear them again. Timmy runs down the cord and on to my computer. From the computer he crawls to the floor and makes a break for it in the direction of my bag. I wave goodbye and do not see him again.

6:30 pm – I leave work to return home and wonder if Timmy is hiding in my bag and if I’m going to get a sudden and surprising visit in the middle of the night. I decide that if he deals with the mosquitoes during the summer he is allowed to stay and I will adopt him.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

19 Responses

  1. VallyP says:

    Haven’t you got better things to do, Stu ;-)

    I thought I was bored, but this takes the biscuit! Haha

  2. VallyP says:

    If you wish to live and thrive……..well, with your interest in arachnia, you’re going to live and thrive very nicely thanks!

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Dragonlady – It could have been sent by microsoft.

    Ana Luisa – My spider sences are tingling.

    Blue – You stay away from Timmy.

    VallyP – Better things?

  4. Manictastic says:

    Aw, isn’t that cute?

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