Mosquitoes – Sometimes They Come Back

Mosquitoes

The terrifying events of last summer seemed like a distant half forgotten memory but we were too quick to celebrate in our victory. All the time our enemy was regrouping and re-planning as they watched us from the shadows with their hungry eyes. We were too blind to take notice of the early warning signs. When they descended upon us again we were unprepared. We were defenceless. We were fools. The yearly cycle has begun again and the mosquito horde has returned to feast upon us.

The little flying Nosferatu have abandoned the stealth tactics they used last year in favour of physiological warfare. They are no longer content with silently sucking on my blood while I sleep; unaware of the unauthorised blood donation that is taking place. Instead they purposely torment me by trying to use my ear as a landing pad every time I close my eyes. They won’t let me sleep. Sometimes I even think I can hear them laughing evilly as they buzz past.

I am not sure why they have chosen to do this. Either the mental torment makes the blood taste sweeter or they simply like to see me slap myself in the side of the head every time I try in vane to hit them when they land.

Every night I eventually pass out from exhaustion, unless I hit myself in the side of the head hard enough to render myself unconscious first. When I wake up the next morning I have enough bite marks for a thoroughly engrossing game of connect the dots (which I expect one day to reveal a hidden mosquito message).

The mosquitoes have pushed me too far. I am not taking it any more. I am going to take the fight to them using Rambo style tactics and as much bug spray as I can get my hands on. I have already stock piled so many mosquito death devices that it probably won’t be long before the UN is knocking on my door to investigate reports of WMDs on the premises. However, the only WMDs they will find will be Weapons of Mosquito Destruction.

This is my declaration of war on all mosquitoes every where. Let this day be marked in history. We will no longer let their crimes go unpunished. No longer will we allow them to steal our blood. No longer will we put up with annoying itchy bite marks. No longer will we do nothing while their buzzing keeps us awake. Today we stand! Today we fight! Who’s with me?

19 responses to “Mosquitoes – Sometimes They Come Back”

  1. Tess says:

    Don’t you see it’s a matter of affection? Since the females only seem to suck blood, it’s lurve at first bite… ;)

  2. Tenakalaz says:

    This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Tess – I hope they don’t take it personally but I want to see other insects.

    Tenakalaz – Give them nothing! But take from them everything!

  4. sophie says:

    haha! yes count on me in the mosquito war!! Every night I have one buzzing my ear I cannot help going out the bed, finding it and ending with it. I’m such a mosquito fighter haha!!

  5. Deadpoolite says:

    Dude you are fighting a lost battle (me and you both….) However that never stopped us before, off with their stings I say!

    I am currently trying to set my ears to “semi-deaf mode” during night time just to avoid the damn buzzing sound the little buggers unleash upon me. I’ ll let you know how that goes…lol

  6. ChickyBabe says:

    If there’s a mozzie around, I’d be the first one who gets bitten. Kill the lot, I say!

  7. Invader Stu says:

    sophie – I can never find the things when they start doing that.If I could I would end them to.

    Deadpoolite – I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish they would just bite me and let me sleep instead of flying by my ear, not biting but keeping me awake.

    ChickyBabe – In that case we will use you as a distraction for the main attack :p

  8. Ash says:

    *Battle cry and marching band*

    I’m with you! I am sick of being itchy…all…of…the…time! Like, at this moment, I am typing, and scratching my right foot with my left one!!! It’s just too much of my brain working too early in the morning (6.30am)!!!

  9. zed says:

    all mosquitoes should die a very painful death – I’m with you on this one, stu.

  10. Joe says:

    Men of Holland, Do you want to live forever!?

    I’m with you all the way Stu ^^ I’ll go get my Machete…..

  11. Invader Stu says:

    Ash – I lost count of how many new bites I found as I was writing this post

    Zed – I agree. They should all die slowly.

    Joe – Why live forever scratching our bites when we can die with honor on the battle field.

  12. wichlin says:

    Thanks for you advice in Blogger Forum!According to your advice,I will try my best to find some related forum to improve my website.

  13. Dragon lady says:

    I’m with you Stu after last year in Germany when I got bitten so many times. I think you need a mosquito net and you could wear your I Pod in bed playing some soothing music to drown out the buzzing as they try to get through the net. Luckily they are not to much of a problem in London but who knows with all this global warming maybe I had better join the anti mosi army.

  14. BlondebutBright says:

    Sounds horrible! I used to live on a canal and never had that problem – not sure how I got so lucky. This year I’ve only had one bite and I think it was from a spider.

  15. Invader Stu says:

    wichlin – You’re welcome

    Dragon lady – The mosquito net sounds like a good idea. I might have to see if I can find one.

    BlondebutBright – This can mean only one thing. The spiders and mosquitoes have started working together. The situation is worse then we thought.

  16. be.bart says:

    WMD: weapons of mosquito destruction

    That joke’s so bad it killed every insect in a two mile radius when I read it aloud.

    Go on, try it!

  17. Em says:

    Just discovered your blog and had to leave a comment… Great job, I’ll definitely be back!! Also I am moving to the Netherlands soon so I guess the testimony of a fellow expat can be very helpful!

    Oh and regarding the mosquitoes… they seem to have found me too. I once bought a little electronic key-ring thingie that emits a high-pitched noise supposed to repel them. Well at least on the leaflet it said so… I guess now I am back to good old (stinky) citronella

  18. Ian says:

    Mozzie nets, 6 euros a pop at Ikea. You too can have an Arabian love nest in your bedroom…

    For some reason, either English ones don’t like me or I don’t react to them. Anywhere else and I have an itchy bite for 4 days straight. And am I the only person who gets mozzies in the bedroom in January?!

    Or maybe I’m being followed by mosquito-wielding ninjas.

  19. Nadeshiko says:

    Stu, I suffer from the same, except that I react immediately to the itch and THAT keeps me awake. No chemicals. The only thing is indeed a mosquito net. Don’t get the IKEA ones (been there…) the holes are too big. You got to go to Klamboe (www.klamboewinkel.nl) I think in A’dam there is one in Prinsengracht. Or camping stores. They are expensive but well worth the sleep. It solved it for me – now we also got nets on the windows (new cats) and no mosquitos here so far :-)

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