Mosquito Bites – Ninja Vampires of the Night

Mosquito Bites

It might sound like the title of a low budget B-Movie starring Steven Price and Jean-Claude Van Damme (or Jean Claude Gosh Darn) but there is nothing fictional about it. It is a very real war that we have all been victims of. Each one of us has lost blood in the conflict. We all carry the wounds of battle. The enemy is known to us all, man, woman and child. It goes by many evil names but it is most commonly known as the Mosquito.

With the increase in mosquito activity (due to the heat) my collection of itchy bites has been steadily growing bigger every night and it is driving me insane. Even as I write this I am trying to resist the urge to scratch each nagging bite mark.

It seems no part of my body is safe from the menu. So far the mosquito dining of choice this season is a small amount of torso for starters followed by the main course of arm and elbow and to finish a side of face for desert. Each day I discover new bites.

*While typing this I did in fact discover a new bite… no joke*

I think they are getting smarter too. The little blood suckers no longer dive bomb my ear and wake me up like they used to with their constant buzzing. This means I can sleep without slapping myself in the face every time I attempt to stop the little flying Nosvarato using my ear as a landing pad. However, it also means I am defenceless to stop them. They are free to silently suck my blood at their leisure while I snooze, unaware of the blood robbery taking place.

*At this point during writing I noticed a mosquito on the wall next to me, tried to hit it but missed*

The only evidence they leave at the crime scene is the stinging itch I discover later the next day. It can be a few hours before I realize I have been ‘visited’ in the night. It only takes one unconscious scratch to turn a hardly noticeable bite into a burning lump of itchy pain. I know I should not scratch them but it must take monk like calm and jedi training to resist the urge.

*There was a short pause here while I tried to deal with a mosquito crawling on my monitor and missed again*

I’ve already become paranoid and started slapping my skin when ever I think I feel something crawling on in. It will not be long before I am rocking back and forth in a corner of my bedroom and muttering like Rainman. If anyone knows a way to keep the mosquitoes away I would love to hear about it. The garlic and wolvesbane around my bed is not doing the trick.

*Before finally posting this I saw a mosquito again, probably the same one… stalking me. I fear sleep. They mostly come at night… mostly.*

15 responses to “Mosquito Bites – Ninja Vampires of the Night”

  1. marycub says:

    arrrgh they must all die!

    When i lived in holland, our house had a canal at the bottom of the garden so the investation of mozzies was unbearable. However i found a standard fan worked fairly well because it blew them all away from me. Also spraying my whole room with anti fly stuff, leaving it for a bit then going to bed. That worked a treat and they all died a ha ha!

  2. Martin Bryant says:

    Well, if you live in Holland and you have chosen to live near water (not much of a choice, I know) then you have only yourself to blame. ;-)

    I’ve lived here for more than 5 years now and we finally have a house without a sloot (drainage ditch) or canal in sight. Admittedly we live 300 meters from the sea, but that doesn’t count. :)

    Thus, so far this year, I am mozzy bite free. Not sure how long it’ll last, of course… :(

  3. Invader Stu says:

    I live just around the corner from a large canal as well. The dam things got me again last night, on the foot, back and lower left arm (again).

    We hates them.

  4. Tenakalaz says:

    I am wondering if I can get one of those nee/nee stickers for the door, just hope the damn mosquito’s can read.

    (Nee/Nee stickers are to stop people posting random unwanted mail through your door i.e. spam)

  5. Whitney Davis says:


    but i’ve realized that I’ve somehow built up a resistance against them. They used to love my fresh meat… now I’m not so attractive. My friends will be devoured and I’ll be perfectly fine.

    it kind of scares me. Why don’t they like me too??

    hey, i’ll take what I can get.

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Martin Bryant – I can send you some mozzies if you ever feel you miss them :p

    Tenakalaz – An excellent idea for a new campaign. “Say no to Mosquitoes.”

  7. roxanne says:

    I’ve finally decided that when I go out to water the garden that I MUST cover myself in bug spray or I’ll be scratching myself to bits all night. I hate spraying myself with poison, but it seems to work. We’ve also found that Benadryl or generic allergy cream works great to stop the itchy and puffiness of bites. Maybe you could try getting one of those nets to put around your bed? :)

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Whitney Davis – Maybe they do like you. Maybe they do not bite you because they have made you their queen.

  9. zoe says:

    Q never gets bitten – but i’m sitting here, scratching away today. i use those bayon plugs during the night. they’re quite good – although there’s always one mosquito that gets me.

    maybe it’s due to my pond at the bottom of the garden – about 20m from our bedroom window ?

  10. Tobias says:

    Mosquitoes are horrific, be happy you are in the land of windmills and not here in Finland…
    But a very fine little blog you have – love the cartoons! I’ll be back…

  11. Martin Bryant says:

    Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass. ;)

    My mother swears by vitimin E. She takes them regularly before the summer starts and rekons that it works well. Maybe the American Star Wars program can be miniturised and put to good effect in houses?


  12. Bonestorm says:

    As long as they use arm and elbow and not sausage for their main meal… if you know what I mean. :p

  13. Matt says:

    I manage to avoid mosquitos bites by making sure that all my clothes are made out of mosquito netting.

    Isn’t it funny that in the night you can sense you are being invalidated by an insect – that white panic is horrible.

  14. Invader_Stu says:

    Roxanne – I had thought of getting one of those nets. I tried a mosquito repellent plug in last night as well as a spray and it seems to have done the job.

    Zoe – When I was living with my parents we had a pond in the back garden, only two meter from my bedroom window but I never had any trouble back then. I’m not sure why.

    Tobias – Thanks glad you like it.

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Martin Bryant – But then it would only escalate. The mosquitoes would get nukes and the whole situation would get out of hand.

    Bonestorm – I dread the day that happens.

    Matt – Yes. I kept on waking up this week knowing I had been bitten and doing the half awake panic thing.

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