An Englishman and His Tea
As an Englishman I know without a shadow of a doubt certain unshakable truths. The sky is blue, buses and phone boxes are red, cricket is the sport of gentlemen, a mince meat pie at Mrs McGilligan’s Pie Shop will always cost two shillings and most importantly of all; there is no disaster that cannot be solved by a good cup of tea. The British Empire was built on tea. The humble tea bag cannot be improved upon. It is the pinnacle of hot beverage, backbone, courage and English honor making technology. It will never change.
Or so I thought. Now I don’t know which way is up or down, left or right. I simply do not know what to believe any more. It seems that like most things in this crazy modern world tea making technology has moved on.
This “latest innovation in tea making,” otherwise known as the T-Stick (there goes English grammar and spelling as well), was given to me instead of a tea bag just the other day when I requested a cup of tea at Rotterdam train station. At first I thought the young lady was placing the paper sashay of sugar in to the boiling water and embarrassed myself by trying to stop her. This “improvement” is a fine example of the kind of anarchy that happens when we let young people listen to their Beatles and their David Bowies.
Honestly! What would the queen say if she knew?
“Honestly! What would the queen say if she knew?”
I think the Queen (God bless her little cotton socks!) [posh voice] “My husband and I are not amused”.
Come to think of it, neither am I. . .
Sorry. Clanger! I meant to say:
I think the Queen (God bless her little cotton socks!) would say in a posh voice, “My husband and I are not amusedâ€.
Since I’m not english, I have a small question about the three-headed monkey. Does it come from the beloved (by me anyway) Monkey Island I computer game? Or is it just a saying that has been built into that game?
Keith – And what would she think if she saw that little mistake?
Veronica – I believe it comes from the game. Incidentally; I’m selling these fine leather jackets.
Fine leather jackets sir, may I interest you in a banana picker?? (Which if I remember right was used to pick some bananas to give to the three-headed monkey so they could give you something.) I wonder if I have a computer old enough so I could play that game again.
How about a rubber chicken with a pulley in it.
Are you aware of the remake that is out: http://www.lucasarts.com/games/monkeyisland/
Yes I am. A colleague told me yesterday because he bought it ;). Only hesitating because when I buy it I’ll be stuck by the computer until done. Meat with condiment anyone?
Just as long as it’s not served on… porcelain.
The T-Stick looks a bit too sci-fi for me. I’m a PG Tips gal so it’s pyramids for me. ;p
It does look like something captain Kirk would use to make his tea
Those crazy Nederlanders. Whenever I ordered a cup of tea over there they would always bring me a cup of hot water with a tea bag on the saucer for me to put in the water. A very weak and horrible tea bag at that. This is not the way to make a decent cuppa. Every time I went to a new cafe I had to explain how a cup of tea was made when I ordered it otherwise I would end up with something undrinkable.
It is no wonder they prefer coffee over there. That is one of the things that they definitely make well. I imagine they are just as horrified as you were when they come over to England and discover that we drink the coffee equivalent of instant tea.