More Warning Signs That You Are Becoming Dutch

Becoming Dutch

Have you been living in Holland for a while? Do you think you might be becoming Dutch or do you think you might actually be Dutch? Here is part two of our warning signs to look out for.

You Might Be Becoming Dutch If…

(Part 2)

1) You are familiar with and have used the two tone sigh.

2) You enthusiastically over extend the word ‘Goedaaaaaaaaaa’ until you’ve figured out what time of day it is and whether you should end with morgen, middag or avond.

3) You consider ice cream toppings on bread a healthy breakfast.

4) You are no longer impressed by windmills.

5) You have a calendar hanging in the toilet which contains the birthdays of all your friends and family.

6) Your throat no longer hurts when you try to pronounce any Dutch words containing the letter G.

7) You regularly use the Dutch word ‘dus(‘so’) to communicate a wide variety of thoughts and emotions, without feeling the need to put it into a full sentence.

8) You no longer pause to consider what a frikandel is made of before eating it.

9) You know what a kroket is and know to avoid the orange ones.

10) You’ve started making your own sandwiches to take to the office (but often eat them on the train).

11) The Albert Heijn layout has started to makes sense.

12) You have used your bicycle to transport one or more of the following: an item of furniture, a mattress, a suit case, a crate of beer, another bicycle, newly purchased electrical equipment, the weekly shopping or other large objects.

13) You consider 15 degrees warm and will happily have a barbeque under such conditions.

14) When you speak Dutch the Dutch actually reply in Dutch.

15) You are aware that it is ‘The Netherlands’ and not ‘Holland’.

16) You no longer freak out and start to panic in front of your friends when the emergence alarms are tested at the start of the month.

17) You are able to eat more than two oliebollen in a day.

18) You own, have owned or know someone who owns a caravan.

19) You’ve started using strange sign language to indicate when something is ‘lekker’.

20) You never lose hope about the Elfstedentocht.

For more warning signs that you might be becoming Dutch check out part 3.

35 responses to “More Warning Signs That You Are Becoming Dutch”

  1. amy says:

    OMG, the two-tone sigh. I’m pretty sure it’s contagious, like yawning. You hear others do it and you can’t help but let out your own.

  2. Alison says:


  3. Invader_Stu says:

    Amy – I think you might be right there.

    Alsion – Zo indeed.

  4. I’m Dutch and have lived in various foreign countries for most of my adult life, including the US, where I am now. It is great fun to see my country and its people through the eyes of an expat.

    Maar je overdrijft wel een beetje ;)

  5. Lena says:

    omg, seems like i’m becoming Dutch! So many symptoms :)

  6. iooryz says:

    Do you get bonus points for 2 crates of beer and your weekly shopping? Or 48 crates of beer in a bakfiets? (and yes, there are pictures of that somewhere)

    And you’ve missed one
    – Have played NS Bingo: and got a bingo.
    (for tourists that don’t know it: It’s like regular Bingo, but instead of numbers with exuses of your main trail-transport provider.)

  7. Wezz6400 says:

    As usual I laughed all the way through that list. Very well done.

    Also, my bike has bags on them, so I guess I’m superdutch or something? ;-)

  8. Perovskia says:

    The calendar in the bathroom – that made me laugh. It took me right back when I was young; my grandma used to have that.
    Enjoyed :)

  9. anne says:

    Presumably I’m becoming Dutch because I understood them all??

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    Miss Footloose – Me? Over exaggerate? :p

    Melissa Adams – Yep. I would say that qualifies.

    Lena – It happens to all of us.

    Iooryz – Oh od. I’ve played that game so often. I’m still waiting for my prize.

    Wezz6400 – That’s a good one. I should have added that.

    Perovskia – I still have one right now :p

    Anne – It sounds like you are, yes.

  11. suus says:

    Great post again Stu. Made me chuckle. “# You know what a kroket is and know to avoid the orange ones.” Exactly! A lot of folks prefer the orange, fat ones but I am glad I found my kroket-preference-soulmate.
    And btw last monday I totally freaked out hearing the 12 o’clock emergency alarm but that was because I had worked night shift so I was awakened by it. And other than that, it’s great to walk in Amsterdam during that time and see tourists look around in slight fear and main bewilderment.

  12. Jonathan says:

    Oh no I do not own, have not owned, will not own and do not know someone who owns a caravan! Apparently I am not Dutch anymore.



  13. Deepa says:

    I’m recognizing a few symptoms, but the “more than two oliebollen” stage is thankfully still very, very far away.

  14. Gah! I can’t believe I almost missed voting again! *goes off to vote*

    And according to this list, I am 0% integrated into Dutch society. :P

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Suus – The evil thing to do would be to start panicking in front of them :p

    Jonathan – Sorry to have un-Dutched you.

    Deepa – Same for me too.

    Barb – That’s ok. Thanks :) You should do a warning signs that you are becoming French :p

  16. Lauren Daniels says:

    I’ve been away from The Netherlands for just over 2 years now, after living there for just 2 years and I still understand most of these and from part 1. It will never go away – Ik ben ontzettend trots op het :)

  17. Deefian says:

    So now I’m both Dutch and English? What kind of wizardry is this?! :'(

  18. Invader Stu says:

    Lauren Daniels – Once you become Dutch there is no going back.

    Deefian – The most powerful kind

  19. Esther says:

    I’m Dutch and everytime I read your blog it makes me giggle or even laugh out loud. Because if anything, Dutch people do know how to laugh at their own silliness haha

    A few things I’m guilty of:
    I’m convinced hagelslag should be it’s own foodgroup.
    I have a birthday calender hanging in my bathroom/toilet.
    My parents own a caravan.
    And last week when it was unusual warm (around 15 degrees!) I made a facebook status about being in the mood for a barbecue LOL

    Oh and voted btw ;)

  20. VallyP says:

    Yep all of the above….so I must be integrated, yes?

  21. ellie says:

    Many of these went over my head since I don’t live in Holland (correction . The Netherlands, excuse me). But I do a lot of business in The Netherlands … the one that made me laugh outloud was considering ice cream toppings on top of bread as a healthy breakfast. YES! Heehee.

  22. Invader_Stu says:

    Esther – I’m very glad you guys can or I might be in a lot of trouble.

    VallyP – I would definitely say so :p

    Ellie – I’ve never encountered any other country that that puts sprinkles on bread for breakfast :)

  23. mary says:

    Ticked the boxes on nearly all of those! And now I understand why there is a pen attached to the toilet wall in the house I just moved into. Well done Stu!

  24. ariella sharf says:

    This is so great! Sort of reminds me of another blog….

  25. Margit says:

    Love it, I used to live in Zuid Limburg, and recognize quite a few things, but what is the two tone sigh, please?

  26. Lynda says:

    My parents immigrated to the States when I was two years old, and all of this still sounds normal to me, especially the toilet calendar!

  27. Daniel in NYC says:

    Verse haring, dubbelzoute dropjes, gezellig koekje bij de koffie. Al 38 jaar in NYC maar het klinkt allemaal nog bekend!

  28. Jo says:

    Guess I still have a ways to go since I cannot for the life of me imagine the sign language that go with lekker. 7 years and counting….but I have to admit my work day is all in English -probably why I am not “Dutcher” after 7 yrs. :))

  29. Layla Ruzgar says:

    I have sat and giggled & giggled through some of these blog posts but particularly this one!
    The orange kroket…tasted once and I cannot let another near my mouth orange or not.
    2 Olliebollen…CHECK just a few days ago. Got told a story about a Belgian woman eating 5 in 10 minutes, how is that humanly possible?!
    Albert will never make sense but alas a free tea makes it all ok!

    And don’t talk to me about the emergence alarms…I experienced them just a few days after I moved here last year. I messaged my Dutch boyfriend…”If I’m not mistaken, I can hear a bloody war alarm” He replies with ‘oja, I forgot to tell you about that!’ I hear “Oja’ a lot!


  30. amsmama says:

    OMG I can check off all these, we even bought a caravan! Great post, im still laughing…and having an identity crisis!

  31. Andreia says:


  32. Gez says:

    “Never lose hope about the Elfstedentocht” – I’ve got myself a pair of noren (speed skates) now, on the loose hope I can enter it one day :)

  33. Johan says:

    “The Albert Heijn layout has started to makes sense.”
    … and hence you can be 100% certain that they’re about to change it (again).

  34. Doesjka says:


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