Even More Warning Signs of Becoming Dutch

Becoming Dutch

Have you started picking up Dutch habits? Have you started thinking like a Dutch person? Do you think you might actually be becoming Dutch person? If the answer is yes here is part three of our warning signs to look out for:

You Might Be Becoming Dutch If…

(Part 3)

1) You’ve unintentionally freak out your non-European friends by automatically kissing them on the cheek three times when saying hello.

2) You’ve also experienced that confusing moment that happens when you give your European, non-Dutch friends the incorrect number of cheek kisses.

3) You’ve realized that when queuing in Holland there are no rules, only survivors.

4) The locks on your bicycle are more valuable than your bicycle itself.

5) But you’ve had your bicycle stolen.

6) You’ve finally accepted that the word ‘gezellig’ will never be translated into your own language.

7) You have become brave enough to try the extra sour Dutch drop and are able to do so without pulling a face.

8) You own a pair of fluffy clog slippers purely to be ironic.

9) You’ve used a bakfiets to transport beer.

10) You know what a bakfiets is.

11) You’ve muttered the word ‘tourists’ under your breath in annoyance when walking around Amsterdam.

12) You know the difference between a Dutch coffee shop and ‘a Dutch coffee shop’.

13) You’ve started using Dutch-isms when speaking your own language.

14) The Dutch have told you that you’ve been around too long to still be considered an expat but don’t have a suggestion of an alternative designation for you.

Think you might be becoming English? Check out the list of Warning Signs That You Are Becoming English.

23 responses to “Even More Warning Signs of Becoming Dutch”

  1. Niclas says:

    #11, it only took me 1 week before I did that!

  2. Christine says:

    I’m wearing my ironic fuzzy clogs and wishing the rest didn’t make quite so much sense… sigh.

    • Invader Stu says:

      I only came up with it because I also own a pair of ironic clog slippers.

  3. A says:

    I don’t deal well with people getting up in my face, so the 3 kiss thing has become a bit..interesting. When I see someone coming at me, I tend to leap backwards with a look of wild terror in my eyes and stick my hand out. This causes some confusion with some Dutch people, many of whom just grab my hand and pull it, pulling me off center and ending in an even more traumatic personal space invasion while others just shake my hand and look at me funny. Even worse, I have found myself doing this when I visit home, which is strange because people don’t shake every person’s hand there that they meet. Even more bizarre for them is when I try to shake hands with small children..

    • Invader Stu says:

      I’ve had similar dilemmas. My wife has younger female cousin in their teenage years. At what age are you supposed to start doing the kiss cheek thing with them? When does it stop being weird and it acceptable? Or am I just over thinking it because I am English?

  4. dragon lady says:

    I have voted for you Stuart. Good luck.
    I think the 3 kiss thing still freaks the dragon keeper out but he takes it like a man. Me I’m fine with it.

  5. Andrew S.x.y.z. says:

    I just voted for you not because I am a fan but because I checked out the other Weblog’s and I admit yours is of the better. So, the vote is deserved.

    I being a proud tourist and frequent visitor of The Netherlands does own a pair of fluffy clog slippers. They are fun and comfortable to where. ::Mutters the word Expats under his tongue in annoyance::

  6. Alison says:

    We’re on our second pair of fuzzy klompen. :)

  7. #2 is often a toss-up in France as well: depending on the region, the number of kisses could be 2, 3, 4 or (in Corsica) 5!

    As it is, I’ve learned that American-style bear hugs lead to incredibly awkward moments…

    • Amanda says:

      I am an American, and those bear hugs are incredible awkward. Especially when you haven’t gotten to know someone yet.

  8. Invader Stu says:

    5? They are just getting greedy.

    Most my friends have started defaulting to the hug as well.

  9. Likeahike says:

    Yep, one pair of fluffy clogs accounted for. I have a pair of wooden ones too, but never realized how hard it is to walk on them. I’m not training for Nijmegen Four Days Marches, but for a 15 km hike on clogs. Fortunately, I still have a few months to go. After that: they’ll make either a bird feeder or a nice bonfire.

    • Yvonne van Zuilekom says:

      You can use them as flower pots on your garden wall or beside your front door, that looks good and peopl
      e will think you are Dutch (related)

      • Invader_Stu says:

        I think I have to add that to the next list of warning signs that you are becoming Dutch; using clogs as flower pots :p

        • Pipo says:

          … and when you have made a name plate out of a roof tile you are a tokkie. Yes it is possible to integrate too much!

  10. MahMoh says:

    6) You’ve finally *excepted* -> accepted

  11. Edwin says:

    Should #7 not be ‘double salted’ liquorice?

  12. Jeff Pacey says:

    God in hemel, stond ik zo hard te laachen dat ik nu mag pijn heeft. Heb ik bijna alles van die lijst zelf’s gedaan.(woont
    ik in Nederland vijfentwentig jaaren geleden als de “verloren” Canadese ontwisseling leerling)

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