Zombies

– Friday – 3:55am – 5 hours after the incident:
No one really knows how it started. All they can do is unimaginatively suggest scenarios from late night horror movies they have seen. “Maybe it’s a virus like in that movie based on that computer game,” or, “It’s a curse just like that movie starring Bruce Campbell,” they say.

But the truth is it does not really matter how it started. We only have enough food to last three more days and the looks of mistrust have already started. It won’t take long for that mistrust to turn into something much worse but that does not matter either. Our improvised barricade will fail long before that happens.

I don’t know how bad the outside situation is. Maybe they have already spread across Holland or even the whole of Europe. Either way there is only one thing left that I can do. It’s time to gather whatever weapons I can find, go outside and take down as many of the zombie scum with me as I can…

That or I could just turn off the games console and go to bed.

– Friday – 3:55am – 5 hours past my bed time:
I might have spent a little too much time playing the zombie slaying game Dead Rising this weekend. On Friday night alone I was laying waist to the undead until 4am which left me feeling very tired and zombie like myself for most of the Saturday and Sunday. It also caused me to have some very strange zombie themed dreams. If I had carried on playing my sleep deprived brain might have blurred fantasy with reality, causing me to board up all of the windows and start shouting questions of, “Have you been bitten?!” at my house mate.

If there really was a zombie scenario in Amsterdam I don’t think anyone would realize for a while. For the first few hours it would simply seem like an influx of stoned tourists who have spent too much time in the local coffee shops. However, when the stoner’s ‘attack of the munchies’ takes on a scary new meaning panic would set in as the population realize what is happening.

At this point the government would put into effect an emergency plan to systematically destroy the bridges around the city. The spider web pattern of the canals would make it possible to isolate areas and at the very least slow down the infection. However if anything was to be the cause of a zombie invasion in Holland I bet it would be the canal water.

With the bridges destroyed the few survivors left would live on islands of what was once Amsterdam (who knows if the man trapped on the newly formed Red Light Island would be happy or not). Life for the non-Dutch survivors would not be easy. All the remaining food supplies would be covered in mayonnaise or pinda (peanut) sauce and Dutch music would be played to lift people’s spirits. At that point I think I would swim back across the canal and take my chances with the zombies if they have not already been scared away by the Dutch music as well.

21 responses to “Zombies”

  1. vallyP says:

    I also had to laugh, Stu. The Dutch music would be enough to scare off even the most determined zombies…lol! Nice thought..you could write a short story about being marooned on the Red Light Island in msterdam…;-)

  2. roxanne says:

    What a scary cartoon Stu that is. Gives me the creeps. I hope you like the taste of mayo and peanuts. ;)

  3. roxanne says:

    Also, you could claim the endless hours of game time as “research” for your job, right?

  4. Ray says:

    “All the remaining food supplies would be covered in mayonnaise or pinda (peanut) sauce and Dutch music would be played to lift people’s spirits.” Oh, that’s cruel! :D But it did make me laugh out loud, so I must be a cruel person :D

  5. Bonestorm says:

    I love zombie stuff.

    I often wonder what I would do if I found myself in a situation such as presented in a movie like 28 Days Later. Probably grab as much tinned food as possible and hole up for as long as I could.

    A battery powered game console would be another necessity of life in such a situation also…

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Ray – Its cruel that they would do it or that I made a joke of it? :p

    VallyP – It might sound like a very strange and scary porn movie.

    Roxanne – I can and I do all the time :p Sadly I don’t like either mayo or peanuts.

  7. Invader_Stu says:

    Thank you Filip and Epictetus

  8. Matt says:

    I am putting off buying a 360 in anticipation of the Wii – not only will we have all the malnutrition and sleep deprication we all know and love with consoles, we have the additional bonus of potential serious physical injury! All for a mere £180!

  9. nothing really matters says:

    Thats a long time playing video games!

    Dude just so you know there are no zombies over here right now!

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    Bonestorm – As long as the internet still worked and I was somewhere same I’d be alright :p

    Matt – A mysterious influx of hospital visits will start around the time of the wii’s launch

    Nothing really matters – How about now?

  11. ellen says:

    Hi Stu, I haven’t been around for a while because I’ve been involved in my own Reality Game: Slaying the Dragon. You’ve been prolific, so I have a lot of reading to catch up on. I’m adding you to my blogroll because you make me smile.

  12. Invader_Stu says:

    Hi ellen. I’m glade you like it. Thanks :)

  13. Tina Dealy says:

    Hey Stu,,I just want to know if my Play Station from the US is going to blow once I get there,,,and if it is, can I buy one over there. Also will it use the same games or should I sell them overhere too and just buy new in the Netherlands. All this talk of Zombies, makes me worry if I am going to get my came fix or will I actually have to interact with my husband more, hee hee Thanks Tina

  14. Invader_Stu says:

    Should that usually be the husband saying that about their wife :p

    I think it should be alright with the power supply but US and European games run on a different format so any games you by here won’t work on it. Europe uses PAL format and the US uses NTSC.

    You’ll have the same with DVDs and DVD players. Europe uses region 2 format but the US uses region 1.

  15. Rose says:

    I use to be addicted to Zombies ate my neighbours. :)

  16. Latina says:

    Stu havent you got a gf to keep you busy doing other things :)

  17. Invader_Stu says:

    Rose – Looks like fun

    Latina – I wish… but she would never beat my high score

  18. Tina Dealy says:

    So, I guess my best bet,,since we are living in EU for 3 to 5 years,,,is to just sell my game station and games here and just buy new,,,what a shame haa haa. My son will be thrilled. Do you have resale stores for the games? My son like the farting monkey on ape escape three haa haa

  19. Invader_Stu says:

    You could bring your games station and games with you. You could still use them but any games you by here would not work with the games station.

    There are a few places that sell second hand games but not many to be honest.

  20. sarah says:

    Have you seen Shaun of the Dead? If not, run to the videostore right now!

  21. Invader_Stu says:

    I love that movie :)

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