An Ode to Holland

A Poem About The Netherlands
By Stuart B

Holland is a country without mountains, hills or even a slight bevel,
That’s quite alarming when you consider everything is below sea level.

The terrain is large, flat and rather featureless you see,
That’s what happens when most of it is reclaimed from the sea.

But never underestimate its importance in the euro zone,
After all it’s where all the most beautiful tulips are grown.

Oh… And calling it Holland can make the locals quite stressed,
It’s The Netherlands. Not just that province to the West.

Tourists often come for a weekend full of booze,
But leave with a pair of souvenir wooden shoes.

The drugs here are legal and can provide a lot of thrills,
But is there really anything better than visiting one of the many windmills?

During the winter the climate can be cold and rather freezing,
But the Dutch do not mind, they find this rather pleasing.

In fact the Dutch spend the whole summer waiting,
For the winter, Elfstedentocht and a chance of ice skating.

I like living in Holland. I think it is very pleasant and rather nice,
Even considering Amsterdam is overrun and controlled by mice.

But never forget that the country is completely flat,
And if the dykes ever break we’ll all get een beetje nat!

16 responses to “An Ode to Holland”

  1. Alison says:

    Bravo! Too bad you couldn’t find a rhyme for orange. ;)

  2. Invader Stu says:

    Alison – I challenged people on Twitter to give me one. Most of them took a a bit of artistic licence but still didn’t fit with in the poem sadly :)

  3. VallyP says:

    Great Poem, Stu!!! I’m going to share it everywhere!

  4. dragon lady says:

    Love the cartoon Stu, Shakespeare eat you heart out.

  5. Martin says:

    Great poem, they should make you the new dichter des vaderlands.
    Specially the end is great (^_^)
    Keep up the good work!

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    VallyP – Thank you very much :)

    Dragon Lady – Thank you too :)

    Martin – Well I did already declare myself the king of Holland, so I could be the Dicher des Vaderlands too :)

  7. iooryz says:

    It’s a wonderful poem! Thank you for enriching our lives, dear King!

  8. Rasa says:

    It took me a while to read your blog (I didn’t read yet all) as I’ve just discovered it. It made my day and still makes. Love it. Only somehow my muscles of my face hurt quite much…hmmm …why? My hubby thinks I’m getting crazy as he always hear my laugh from the work room :D
    The Poem is brilliant!

  9. Invader_Stu says:

    Iooryz – You are welcome subject Iooryz.

    Rasa – Thank you very much :) That is the best compliment ever. I’m glad you like it.

  10. Perovskia says:

    Love. It. :)

  11. Sandra says:

    Love it! :-)

  12. Once again, a masterpiece from the mind of King Stu. :)

    (That was a very nice poem!)

  13. baerbel says:

    Dear Stu,

    I guess you have never been near Wageningen town?!
    Our first bicycle tour there went the hills up and down ;-)

    I like your poem very much!

  14. Invader Stu says:

    Perovskia, Sandra and Barb: Thank you very much :)

    Baerbel – Thank you…. and I might have skipped of the fact that there are ‘some’ hills… ‘some’… :p

  15. Sjoerd says:

    Utrechtse heuvelrug (Backhill’s of Utrecht.) but, you could also go to Limburg.

    it’s a nice poem.
    first one that i see that is “good” about The Netherlands.

  16. tiang lampu says:

    Hello I’m Indonesians. I always love visiting Holland not only because it is my favorite city, but also because I have been so many times that I feel no real pressure to do all of the tourist activities. Different things catch my eye on each trip, and I particularly enjoy wandering around the neighborhoods in Amsterdan, Leiden, Harlem, etc and taking self guided walking tours.

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