Strange Encounter With a Dutch Film Crew

Strange Encounter With a Dutch Film Crew

When I first moved to Holland I quickly realized that being an expat in a foreign country meant any simple task had the potential to become confusing and baffling.

This was mainly because I was unfamiliar with the countries customs, traditions and its language. Normally these occurrences were small and easily sorted out.

However, every once in a while something so bizarre happened that I had to question weather it had really occurred. There is one such event which still puzzles me to this day. It was so strange that I had not even imagined that it might happen.

Try to imagine that you are strolling along a street one day, enjoying the weather when an enthusiastically happy looking girl catches your eye. She returns your gaze and approaches with a smile. When she is close enough for you to hear she starts to talk to you in Dutch. You smile back a little nervously and wonder what she is saying.

The language barrier might course a small amount of confusion but this does not really count as a bizarre situation yet. Imagine the scenario again but this time with a little more detail:

You are strolling along a shopping street one day, enjoying the weather when you notice a strangely enthusiastic girl being followed around by a Dutch camera crew. She notices you and suddenly runs towards you while grinning. When she is close enough to point her microphone at you she starts to say something in Dutch. You smile nervously into the camera and wonder what it is all about.

This would be more confusing but a camera crew on the street is still not a truly surreal event yet. Imagine the scenario once more, this time with all the details:

You are strolling along a busy shopping street one day, enjoying the weather when you suddenly see a strange girl being followed around by a Dutch camera crew while wearing a large fake rubber strap-on erect penis. Despite your best attempts to avoid being seen she notices you and suddenly runs at you while her counterfeit member bounces up and down disturbingly on her crouch. When she is too close for comfort she suddenly thrusts the microphone into your face and shouts something in Dutch. You look nervously at her prosthetic manhood and wonder if you should run.

I explained I did not understand Dutch to which she replied, “Oh. Ok. Sorry to have bothered you,” and skipped off in search of another victim. What would you have done in the same situation?

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

34 Responses

  1. Invader Stu says:

    Hi everyone.

    Just a quick message to let you all know I am still alive, just very busy. Normal service will be resumed soon.

  2. marycub says:

    My mother was always the victim like this. Whenever there was a telly crew around be it in the hague or on schevenigen beach she was always approached as if she look like the quintessential middle aged dutch woman (she’ll kill me for the middle aged bit). And then there was the dutch candid camera trick played on her… made all the less funnier simply because she didn’t understand enough dutch!

  3. Anne says:

    Hoi, Stu. I like your blog ! its cool. I have been in HOlland for a month now and I also got the situations like yours. When they talked to me in Dutch, I smiled first ( acted like I knew what they said, hahahha ) .After they finished talking, I always ask ” what did u say ? “, Could you speak English ? I am sorry, I dont speak Dutch ” , lol….for some of them who cant speak English, they left me without any more words, hahha. I think its funny sometimes, but not all the time. Anyway, I wish I will get used to people here soon and HOPE u also :) Let’s have fun and good time with DUtch people here, lol..

  4. khhpljnscy says:

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