Here is a quick visual guide to some of the accident prone things I’ve done over the years:
1) Age 6 – Attempted to give myself a haircut by removing a large clump of hair from the back of my head. My mother was not impressed with my new hair style.
2) Age 7 – Received concussion after excitedly chasing a relative’s dog through the house and slamming head first into a rather (visually) hard to miss doorway.
3) Age 19 – Dyed my eye lashes black in a failed attempt to get a girls phone number (Full Story).
4) Age 15 – Chipped a tooth after accidentally running face first into another (shorter) kid during a game of tag. My tooth fragment might still be embedded in his skull somewhere.
5) Age 19 to Now – Numerous shaving accidents.
6) Age 26 – Received several bruises during a paint ball game thanks to trigger happy and colour blind team mates (Full Story).
7) Age 14 – Scar resulting from falling down a hill while gathering camp fire wood and getting cut by a passing tree branch (I don’t think it liked my attempts to burn its fallen comrades).
8) Age 3 – Almost had the tip of my thumb bit off by a donkey at a petting zoo. I still have a cool/freaky ‘dent’ in my thumb and hold no grudge against donkey-kind.
9) Age 29 – Almost cut off my own finger during a drunk attempt to make a midnight sandwich. Lacking any medical supplies in the house I had to go to the nearby police station and ask for plasters (Full Story).
10) Age 12 – Finger slammed in door.
11) Age 11 – Dog bite which stopped me going anywhere near dogs for the next three years.
12) Age 17 to 19 – Fingers super glued together on several occasions while at college (unintentionally of course, this was not the cool new thing the kids were doing back then).
13) Age 19 – Punched during a stage performance gone wrong (Full Story).
14) Age 8 – Attempted to demonstrate to my parents that I wanted to be a stunt man when I grew up by jumping off the sofa. This went well if you do not count the glass (that I had forgotten I left there while watching cartoons) I landed on which shattered into my leg.
15) Age 23 – Broken ankle from the office Christmas party (Full Story).
(In the original cartoon I included all the injuries coursed by my accident prone nature but that ended up looked quite horrific)