Monthly Archives: September 2012

Cycle Like The Dutch – The Trouble With Bicycle Racks

Trouble With Bicycle Racks

There is something very undignified about losing a fight with a bicycle rack. Even if you do manage to win you still can’t walk away without feeling more than a little humiliated.The problem is that there are just so many bicycles in Amsterdam and so few bicycle racks to park them in. Bikes end up being forced in to them and tightly jammed together at all kinds of odd angles. And because it is often […]

Read More

Lost Passport Scam Goes Hilariously Wrong In Amsterdam

“Excuse me. Did you drop this?” I hear an unfamiliar voice ask from behind me as I lock my bicycle. Wondering what it is they could be referring to I slowly start to turn around to face the owner of the helpful voice. Whatever it is I have apparently dropped I’m very lucky that it has been found by an honest and upstanding citizen. It’s nice to know that in this day and age there […]

Read More

Voting Card 2012

A lot of people have contacted me today regarding an error with their voting cards for today’s general elections here in the Netherlands. I wish to apologize deeply for this mistake and have made the correction to the voting list here: Thank you for your continued support. If you wish to know more about my policies and exciting ideas you can check my previous ‘press releases’ here: –New Leadership –Election Mix-Up

Read More

Accidentally Insulting My Dutch Wife

“You’ve got something stuck between your teeth.” My wife informs me as we finish dinner. “Thanks,” I reply after successfully removing the offending food fragment. “Do I have anything stuck in my teeth?” She asks in return. I quickly check as she grins at me but find nothing. “No. You are more…” I suddenly stop mid-sentence as my brain jumps into the conversation like a bodyguard diving in front of a bullet. Brain: “STOPPP!” Me: […]

Read More