You people are terrible… I confess my terrible struggle with Speculoos addiction to you and what do you do? How do you help me? Do you offer words of encouragement? Do you organise surprise interventions? Do you help me through the difficult stages of Speculoos withdrawal? No. You find even more speculoos products for me to become addicted to.
“Hey Stuart. Did you know you can get chunky Speculoos spread too?”
“Have you tried this Speculoos ice-cream? It is so good.”
“Would you like a Speculoos Easter Egg Stuart?”
“Stuart! You simply must try this Speculoos pasta sauce!”
Ok, I might have made that last one up but that does not make my point any less valid.
Some of you have even sent me ‘free samples’ likes some kind of Speculoos drug dealer trying to get me hooked on the latest Speculoos product, each of you trying to find the strangest and weirdest Speculoos/random food combination possible.
And what is the latest product you have found? What is the newest thing you are all trying to get me addicted too?…
Speculoos Alcohol!
Great! Now my Speculoos problem is in danger of becoming a drinking problem… I never thought Speculoos would be able to give me liver damage. Thanks a bunch.
“Your highness. Now that you have been successfully crowned William-Alexander, King of The Netherlands how would you like the occasion to be remembered? Your face will already adorn our nations stamps and its currency but perhaps we should name a street in your honour… or an entire city maybe… Possibly we could erect a mighty statue which captures your majestic likeness or build a great structure of architectural marvel in your name to show your strength. How my lord? How would you like to be remembered?”
“With none of these things.”
“My lord?”
“I desire something truly fitting of a king. Something that the people will remembered me for forever, for generations to come.”
“But how my lord?”
“This… this is how I wish to be remembered…”
“… The orange King’s Burger!”
And so the time has finally arrived for Queen Beatrix to retire from her daily 9 to 5 and hand the family business over to her son Willem-Alexander. For Beatrix this means more free time and maybe a new hobby or two. For Alexander it means following in his mothers footsteps and giving up any dreams he might have had of becoming a dancer (or maybe I’m getting mixed up with the plot of Billy Eliot). And for Alexander’s wife it means she will become Queen Maxima, a title that makes her sound like a bond villain.
But more importantly; for the Dutch people it means everything will change. No longer will they celebrate Queen’s Day by dressing up in more orange than is fashionably sensible and getting as drunk as possible before 11am. Instead they will celebrate King’s day by dressing up in more orange than is fashionably sensible and getting as drunk as possible before 11am… It will take some getting used to.
Luckily the Dutch royal family have a habit of being born around the same time of year so the date will only shift from April 30th (Queen Juliana B-day) to April 27th (King Alexander’s B-day). At least it will just as soon as everyone can work out what to call it… Koningsdag? Koningdag?
But for now:
Still unsure what it is all about? Check out:
The Invading Holland Guide to Queen’s Day
Also check out the amazing
Queen’s Day Photo Book project
Last year I declared myself the new king of Holland. A few months ago the Queen announced her abdication. Now you can show your support for King Stu this Queen’s Day with the ‘Stuart for King Badge’.
Details:
The “Stuart for King” badge is a multi-functional badge that can be worn on coats, jackets, jumpers, shirts, t-shirts, bag straps, bags, back packs, back pack straps and a wide variety of items that badges can usually be pinned to. It’s 35mm in diameter and comes with the extra bonus that if King Stuart sees you wearing it he will say hello.
Prices & Discounts:
Badges cost 1.40 each. The cost of delivery is included in the price which means you don’t have to pay anything extra. And as an bonus; if you order ten badges you get an extra one for free!
Ordering:
If you would like to have your very own ‘Stuart for King’ Badge you can do so by sending an email to the following address:
shop@invadingholland.com
Be sure to include how many badges you would like and which address you want them sent to. I (King Stuart) can then send you an official invoice along with information on how you can pay for your order (by direct bank transfer or PayPal). Invading Holland T-Shirts are also still available here.
I am still hard at work on the official webshop which is part of a new redesign for the whole site. I hope to have it ready soon but it’s amazing how much longer things take when you become a father.
Future Badges:
If these badges sell well I plan to get more made using some of the other Invader Stu cartoons. Maybe you have one in mind that you would like to see in badge form. Mention it in the comments and I will put it into a future post where you guys get to vote on what the next Invading Holland badge will be.
Legal Stuff
Invading Holland Designs / KvK Number: 55885551 / Postbus 91248 3007ME Rotterdam
Life is full of mysteries. Who are we? Why are we here? Did I leave the oven on? Great big mysteries that are difficult to solve and keep a lot of very intelligent people busy.
However, there is a mystery that is bigger than any mystery ever pondered! Larger than any question ever asked! More infinite than any puzzle ever puzzled! Many people have attempted to solve this mystery and been driven insane by it. It is simply cannot and will not be solved… What is the correct usage of de and het in the Dutch language?
The true meaning of life will be solved long before anyone even comes close to solving this unsolvable mystery.
Please! Do not try to answer this question yourself. Even if you believe that you know the answer. Simply pondering this question for even a moment can put your mental health at serious risk. Thinking about if for just one second puts your sanity in danger. If you are an expat trying to learn the language it is far safer to just get it wrong and refer to things as de huis or het man (for example). It simply is not worth risking trying to get it right. I cannot stress this enough.
Dutch people especially might think they can answer this mystery. They are Dutch after all and being Dutch is a pretty good qualification to have on the subject of being and speaking Dutch. However, no matter how much they think they know the answer the truth is that they do not. This becomes very evident the moment they make the mistake of trying to explain the answer.
At first it is all very simple. ‘De’ is used for masculine and feminine words, where as ‘Het’ is used for neutral words. That’s it. How hard can it be?… But then they remember that one occasion where the rule does not work… and then that other one where it does not apply… and another where it is invalid… and that strange one where the rule is flipped… and sometimes reversed… or occasionally upside down… or when a entirely different rule is used based on the position of the moon!
Suddenly they realize they cannot explain the mysteries of De and Het. It was foolish of them even to attempt to do so, and it is probably best that they stop before the headache (that they don’t remember having a few moments ago) gets any worse.
It is at this point that there is only one explanation that they can give, wise words that have been handed down from generation to generation of Dutchman when dealing with outsiders trying to learn the language; “You just have to know it.”
It is a mystery that can never be solved without being born Dutch. And even then, trying to truly understand or explain it ends in madness.
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Still don’t believe me that it is dangerous to attempt solving this mystery? While writing this post I had a migraine.
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